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NEW YORK, NY — As deliberations continued in the criminal trial of former President Donald Trump, news broke that the jury had passed a note to the judge asking to review all 14 seasons of The Apprentice.

The jury was deadlocked in its deliberation and hoped binge-watching every episode of Trump’s hit reality series might provide them with new insight that would allow them to finally reach a verdict in the former president’s hush money case.

“All of them, please. Every episode,” the note reportedly clarified. “We’re at a stalemate here, and there’s really nothing to do here in this room. Please have someone provide us with all 14 seasons of The Apprentice, several 2-liters of Mountain Dew, and some bags of Doritos. And a large tub of Red Vines, please. This is very important to our deliberations.”

Presiding Judge Juan Merchan was skeptical of the jury’s reasoning behind requesting to watch the show but reluctantly ordered one of his aides to obtain copies of the show. “I’m starting to think they’re not really deliberating,” the judge was overheard telling a member of the prosecution team. “I think they’re just hanging out in there asking for entertainment and snacks. Were my instructions to find Trump guilty not clear enough?”

At publishing time, Judge Merchan’s patience with the deliberations was already wearing thin when the jury also requested a viewing of all episodes of Celebrity Apprentice.

We asked Trump to narrate 7 more famous historic battles, and the result was tremendous and magnificent. Everyone says so.


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