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Guys, the news is slow out there. I’m not sure why, and that’s probably a good thing for most of you, but when the Matrix feeds are slow I get spooked that something big is in the works.

Anyway, because it’s the middle of the week and most of us would rather be out relaxing by a campfire or on a boat, I figured I would assemble the random things I’ve come across this week to brighten up your day.

Enjoy!

ONE: WHEN LIFE IMITATES ART

TWO: WHEN ALL YOU WANT TO DO IS EAT YOUR LUNCH IN PEACE

THREE: WHEN YOU ACCIDENTALLY JOIN THE DARK SIDE

FOUR: WHEN YOU WANT SOMEONE TO BE THERE FOR THE GOOD TIMES

FIVE: WHEN YOU FIND OUT RED LOBSTER IS GOING BANKRUPT

SIX: WHEN GOOGLE MAKES A PRESENTATION

SEVEN: WHEN YOU WANT TO PROVE THAT YOU CAN HANDLE RIGOROUS LIVE DEBATE

EIGHT: WHEN YOU BUY A CLOCK FROM IRAQ

NINE: WHEN YOU LIVE IN ALABAMA AND YOUR MOM SAYS YOU HAVE THE NORTHERN LIGHTS AT HOME

TEN: WHEN YOU RADICALIZE YOUR FBI AGENTS

Have a great rest of your Wednesday, ladies and gentlemen.

And for the love of all that is holy, watch out for the squirrels.

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