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CHINO, CA — Residents of a local neighborhood grew most closely knit this week, as a man introduced himself to his next door neighbors who had just recently moved in nine years ago.

The man, Dan Burgess, dutifully stepped out of his comfort zone and seized the opportunity to meet his new neighbors who he had been watching ever since they purchased the house next to his back in 2015.

“I said to myself ‘Why wait?'” Burgess explained. “It was a perfect time to welcome them to the neighborhood, so I wasted no time in going over there and introducing myself. I’m pretty proud of myself for not letting too much time pass before making the move. I didn’t want them to feel like I wasn’t friendly, after all.”

The neighbors were happy to receive such a prompt welcome. “It was really nice of Dan to take such quick action,” said Paul Grant, who had now lived next door to Dan long enough to pay off his mortgage. “Somewhere around 2019, about four years in, we were starting to wonder if anyone had realized we moved into the neighborhood. Thankfully, Dan and his family swooped in a half-decade later to really make us feel welcomed.”

The two families reportedly hit it off well, catching each other up on how much their children had grown in the span of time it took them to finally meet.

At publishing time, Burgess had already asked if he could borrow Paul’s weed trimmer, which he anticipated returning to him sometime before the year 2048.

World, meet Travis. Travis, meet the world. In this first episode of our new show Travis Interviews the World, we interview some guy named Jordan Peterson.


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