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If you spend time around Twitter you’ll inevitably run into an account calling itself ‘Three Year Letterman’. Three Year Letterman (known to most simply as ‘Coach’) is a self-described ‘youth football coaching legend’ who drives a fully tricked out ‘fully loaded 2011 (Ford) Taurus’ that is provided by his company and who has a reserved corner booth at Beef O’Brady’s ready for him anytime he should want to drop by… among many other amazing personal anecdotes. One of Coach’s main Twitter bits is to wander into the replies of well know Twitter users and make absurd claims about whatever is being talked about hoping that the target will try to smugly push back, at which point all hell will break loose for whoever had the audacity to question THE Coach. He’s actually briefly taken the mask of his persona off before to describe his process in the past, which is helpful because it’s a process that often provides some really entertaining results.

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The easiest people to get riled up are, of course, the most sanctimonious people and nobody is as self-satisfied and sanctimonious as David Hogg, so it was inevitable that Hogg would find himself in Coaches Hot-Seat eventually… and so he has.

Still not understanding the land-mine he’d walked on, Hogg went on to threaten to go to law school so he could more effectively ‘school you idiots on con-law’…

Which… given David Hogg’s apparently having managed to graduate from Harvard without receiving much in the way of an actual education isn’t much of a threat, since it seems likely he’d neglect to absord anything in law school just as much as he seems to have in undergrad. 

And once David engaged the floodgates opened up.

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The choice seems obvious, right?

Many have tried but to our knowledge none ever have.

This, of course, a reference to Coach having purchased his waterbed with cash since he’s well off enough to not have needed financing for such a big purchase.

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It’s really one of the best and more absurd things that happens on Twitter.

The usefulness of accounts like Three Year Letterman is that there are a lot of people out there who take themselves and ‘what they do’ way too seriously. It’s important to take satisfaction in your work, of course, especially if what you’re doing is something that you feel is important to the world. But it’s also important not to take yourself too seriously, to take yourself so seriously that you feel the need to ‘show up’ anyone who questions you, no matter how absurdly they frame the question. Like we said, David Hogg was always going to be a ripe target for this kind of thing because Hogg is besotted with self-love to an incredibly high degree… and when you’re that full of yourself you’re really just asking for it.