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If it’s the opening night of the Kid Rock/Jason Aldean “Owning Libs Across America” tour, there’s only one person to introduce the headliner. Well, two people, but one of them was busy having a record-setting fundraising haul for a presidential candidate. The other is Tucker Carlson. And you know? Tucker Carlson learned something today. When you turn off the Internets and talk to real people, America is NOT f*cked up. Behold the healing power of going outside to touch grass!

“Go touch grass” is what the youths say to their boomer parents when they spend too much of their lives obsessed with what people are saying on social media. Even though the youths can stand to go touch grass themselves. Let’s call “Go Touch Grass” the expression your cool GenX uncle uses.

The tour is really the “Rock the Country” tour. If you go, more important than owning the libs is making sure you catch Koe Wetzel, Kolby Cooper, Pecos and the Rooftops, and Elvie Shane. All of them are killer. Not that you can’t enjoy awesome music while owning the libs as well.

At the opening stop in Louisianna, Tucker Carlson introduced Kid Rock. Tucker couldn’t help but notice that when he logged off of X-Twitter and talked to real people, America is not going to hell in a handbasket as much as he thought.

The country they tell me about on the internet is f*cked up. The country that I experience when I walk through this crowd, or when I wake up in my town of 100 people in a rural area, is a beautiful country filled with beautiful people.

I know, right?

This chick gets right in my face. She’s got two nose rings, a cross necklace and a Trump bracelet. And she looks at me right in the face, and she goes, “Ahhhhh!” And she said, “I love you.” And I said, “I love you, too.” And I meant it. And I thought, That’s the America that I know. A little weird, slightly crazy, full of love, and beautiful.

Hell yeah, brother!

It’s amazing how different America is if you log off of the Internets once in a while. We had our Little League opening weekend over the, well, weekend. Not a single person I spoke to brought up a single thing we obsess about on X-Twitter. I’m usually the one they seek out when they do.

It was all laughs, what’s for dinner, and how the family was doing. The closest it got to divisiveness was arguing with your kid to put their coat back on.

Something to remember when your favorite influencer (yes, that includes our favorite right-wing ones) is too much “everything sucks,” “everything is terrible,” “somebody do something,” and “PLEASE GIVE ME ENGAGEMENT.” While all those things may be true at times, they’ll be waiting for you if you take the time to go get fresh air, take in a concert, watch a ball game, and engage with people IRL. It’s healthier that way, both physically and mentally.

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Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn’t writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.

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