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Springtime means it’s time to get your lawn and gardens in order—or, if you’re a bougie like me, to hire someone to do it for you. One landscaper in Houston learned he needed to lock up his equipment better after thugs drove by and tried to steal from him. Conversely, one thug needs to learn to buckle his seatbelt and watch for the weedwhacker.

According to KHOU-11, the landscaper — let’s call him Sheamus — was minding his own business landscaping when he noticed a red car slow down and attempt to steal stuff from the back of his truck. He charged the car and threw his weedwhacker at it. The driver flashed a gun, as thugs are known to do. However, and I’m confused how, one of the suspects sitting in the back fell out of the car.

Our man kept trying to get up and fall down. The car turned the corner and yelled at the guy to hurry up. But Sheamus had the man covered with his weedwhacker, so they bounced.

One of the neighbors saw what was happening and came to help. The chase was on! The thug was either getting arrested or weedwhacked. At this point, I don’t think Sheamus cared which. Though he kinda wanted to weedwhack the guy.

It was all caught on security camera.

KHOU-11 reports the suspect is in custody.

“The suspect, Jerell Alexander, received minor injuries from being struck and was later located at a local hospital,” Herman said.

Alexander, 24, was arrested and charged with aggravated robbery with a deadly weapon. It’s not his first run-in with the law. Court records show he was convicted of robbery with bodily injury in 2019.

Thankfully for Sheamus, this took place in a Texas suburb and not a place like New York City. Had that been the case, he’d be in jail and Jerell would have been given the truck and the weed whacker in the name of equity.

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Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn’t writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.

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