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NEW YORK, NY — At a high-priced fundraiser in Manhattan last night, three former presidents got together and reminisced about all the good times they had together on that one other island.

Presidents Obama, Biden, and Clinton were all present at the lavish event, and sources say they couldn’t help but remember the last time they were all together having fun on an island owned by a mutual friend, who is now mysteriously deceased.

“Oh wow, what a great party!” exclaimed Biden, according to witnesses. “Is Ghislaine here? Where’s Ghislaine? I’ve got a hankerin’ for a massage. Where’s Ghislaine?”

The President was quickly hushed by the two former presidents. “Pipe down, Joe,” whispered Obama. “We’re in Manhattan. This is an entirely different place. Ghislaine is in jail.”

“Aw yeah!!! Those were some good times!” said Clinton to his pals. “What I wouldn’t give to go back there and do some more raping. Man, I miss all the raping.” Clinton was also shushed by a handful of aides, who begged him to be discreet.

Sources say the event hauled in over $25 million, which analysts say will be enough to pay for the silence of others who were present on the island.

When guns are finally banned in the coming utopia, you may still need to defend yourself on the rare occasion.


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