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After Don Lemon was fired from CNN and paid $24 million to never show his face again, Elon Musk graciously offered for Lemon to bring his face, along with a new show, to X. However, Lemon’s new show on X was canceled after a mere one episode, with news breaking that the disgraced journalist had demanded Elon Musk give him a Cybertruck, $5 million, and an ownership stake in X — and that’s not all! Here are 10 more things Lemon asked of Musk:

  1. A foot massage from Elon every evening: How else does Elon expect him to work?
  2. A spaceship to keep in his backyard: Pretty standard ask.
  3. To never have to see a past-her-prime, 45-year-old woman ever again: Obviously.
  4. A guy to follow him around and tell him how awesome his turtleneck looks: So fabulous!
  5. A real date with James O’Keefe: No disguises this time.
  6. Be crowned Princess of Wales: Get lost, Kate! Wait a second…
  7. One free chance to mess Anderson Cooper’s hair up: That perfect part has been driving Lemon nuts for years.
  8. Mars: A pretty big ask, even from Elon.
  9. Vision insurance with one pair of glasses per year: Ridiculous!
  10. A job at rival fake news site “The Babylon Bee”: In your dreams, Lemon.

Quite a list, Don! We look forward to seeing who will be next to pay Lemon not to work there.

When guns are finally banned in the coming utopia, you may still need to defend yourself on the rare occasion.


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