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The chain of events that started with Donald Trump’s tariff threat and ended with Justin “I Feel Pretty” Trudeau resigning as head of his political party has been hilarious to watch unfold. Apparently, Canada’s walking pile of soy and hair goop realizes how much of a pussy he looks like — yes, it was even too much for him — so he attempted to act tough on the X-Twitters. I.F.P. Trudeau was quickly given a cyberwedgie by Elon Musk as a result.

Let’s recap:

Donald Trump threatened Canada with tariffs. It’s Trump. Threatening other countries with tariffs is kinda his thing.

Trudeau got on the first flight to Florida for an audience with the incoming American president to kiss his ring and beg him (like a dog) not to. As Trump was polishing the ring to kiss, he made a hilarious joke about how it would be cheaper to make Canada the 51st American state. Trudeau could then be installed as governor.

(As a side note, since then, Trump has plans to make Greenland the 52nd state. I think Panama and Mexico can probably get it as well. )

Not everyone found this joke funny. Least of all, the socialists that have made Canada a socialist paradise. Declaring martial law on peaceful truckers wasn’t enough to turn people against Trudeau, but looking like a little b*tch in front of Trump was. Trudeau was forced out as the head of the Liberal Party in Canada.

Emasculated worse than when his father Fidel left for a pack of cigarettes and never came home, Trudeau attempted to save face by declaring there isn’t a snowball’s chance in hell that Canada would EVER become part of America.

Cousin Elon promptly shoved a pie in that face.

In other words…

Let’s be clear about something. Trolling on the internets is fun, but America doesn’t want Canada. The last thing this country needs is any more progressive twats. If anything, an argument can be made to give Canada California, Washington, and Oregon. They can pay us with a lifetime supply Maple Syrup and cases of Crown Royal, and an agreement to call poutine by its proper name: Disco Fries.

It’s still satisfying to have fun at Justin Trudeau’s expense. We won’t have him to kick around for much longer. At least, not until he gets hired as a CNN contributor.

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Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn’t writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.

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