Maryland man charged with pouring whiskey into holy water during Christmas

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Yes, this actually happened.

To my Catholic friends, what happens to holy water when you do this?

Does it bestow extra holy damage, or what?

Get this: The perp interrupted service at two churches and was armed with fruits and veggies.

Thomas Campbell Bolling Von Goetz, 34, of Avenue, Maryland, disrupted mass at two different churches in the county on Christmas Eve, according to the St. Mary’s County Sheriff’s Office.

First, just after 5 p.m., the sheriff’s office said Von Goetz entered Holy Angels Catholic Church during mass, approached the altar and dropped an onion in the aisle. The sheriff’s office also said Von Goetz was disturbing the peace of those in attendance.

A congregant then escorted him out of the church, but Von Goetz was equipped with even more produce, and he was prepared to use it, according to deputies.

The writers over at WTOP writing that last line:

Outside, Von Goetz threw tangerines at the congregant, which the sheriff’s office said amounted to assault.

Unfortunately, Von Goetz fled the scene, his reign of terror only beginning.

Later that Christmas Eve night, deputies said Von Goetz went to midnight mass at St. Francis Xavier Catholic Church in Leonardtown, poured whiskey into the holy water and threatened to harm parishioners.

St. Francis Xavier claims to be the oldest Catholic church in the 13 Colonies (it was founded in 1640 and the chapel was built in 1731). I’m not sure any of the original congregants could have imagined this happening three centuries later.

St. Francis Xavier Catholic Church

As congregants there escorted him out, Von Goetz tried striking them with his whiskey bottle, according to the sheriff’s office.

I’m not sure if this guy had a mental breakdown or was possessed by the weirdest demon ever (maybe both?), but I’m glad the congregants at St. Francis were able to detain him until the police could arrive!

Thursday, the sheriff’s office charged Von Goetz with several crimes, including assault, disorderly conduct, threat of mass violence and defacing religious property.

Those eyes…