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This is the best Dave Portnoy pizza review of all time.

[Warning: One F-bomb at the very end cuz it’s Dave Portnoy]

Portnoy: [Takes a bite of pizza] ‘Very good. Thin, New York-kind of style. I really like it. … There’s no way this place should be going out of business. None. None.’

[Walks back to front door]

Portnoy, to owner: ‘How much money do you need to stay open for like a year?’

Owner: ‘That’s a really good question. I’m not sure, I’m not sure.’

Portnoy: ‘Well, if there was someone super rich right in front of your face who’s in the pizza business and by serendipity was like, “What do you need to stay open for a year?”, you gotta give him some figure cuz he’s gonna walk away.’

Owner: ‘I know, I know it. Uh, listen, I think we could probably get our liquor license and continue to stay open if we had $60,000. Would that be do – “

Portnoy: ‘Done.’

Just the best.

Seriously, this shop was going to close for good on Christmas unless it had a miracle:

I am just overwhelmed by wholesomeness, Christmas spirit, and a general hunger for pizza right now!

Some big names on X are also pulling for TinyBrickOven 👇

Portnoy isn’t shy about his, uh, strong opinions on pizza (some shops have reported getting harassed after Portnoy tried their pizzas and thought it was bad), so the fact that he gave TinyBrickOven pizza a 7.9 out of 10 means he genuinely liked it.

On Google, people’s reviews are even more generous:

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