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What a difference a day…and a buttload of trouble make.

Ozempic should work so good.

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If only Donald Trump could bottle that magic.

Now, they’ve just managed to get this out so folks can go through it (it’s looking like it’s also $100B lighter), but so far, reviews are cautiously optimistic.

And the ChatGPT scrutiny has yet to cough up any freedom restrictive laws tucked away inside either.

The Congressional pay raises have been removed – fancy that.

This is a pretty good visual of how much was in it that didn’t need to be.

Someone on X ran it through Grok, too, and here’s what they got:

Below is a summary of the key points from the document titled “American Relief Act, 2025” as outlined in the provided legislative text: 

General Overview: Title: American Relief Act, 2025 

Introduced By: Mr. Cole in the House of Representatives 

Purpose: To provide further continuing appropriations for fiscal year 2025, disaster relief, health extenders, agricultural program extensions, and other related matters. 

Division A – Further Continuing Appropriations Act, 2025: 

Extension: Extends funding for various government operations until March 14, 2025. 

Specific Allocations: 

District of Columbia: $90 million for emergency planning and security, with $50 million specifically for the 2025 Presidential Inauguration. 

NOAA: $625 million for Geostationary Earth Orbit acquisition. 

Department of Justice: Funds for vulnerability detection and FBI security systems. 

Department of Defense: Significant funds for shipbuilding, particularly for Columbia and Virginia Class Submarines, and for maintenance and security enhancements. 

Department of Energy: Funds for security activities and environmental defense. 

Department of Veterans Affairs: Temporary waivers on certain budget restrictions.

 Division B – Disaster Relief 

Supplemental Appropriations Act, 2025: 

Agriculture: $30.78 billion for agricultural losses due to various natural disasters in 2023 and 2024, with specific allocations for livestock and crop support. Additional funds for emergency food assistance and rural development disaster aid. 

Commerce: $1.51 billion for economic development assistance for disaster recovery. 

National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA): Funds for repairing and acquiring new hurricane hunter aircraft and other disaster-related equipment. 

Department of Justice and NASA: Funds for disaster-related damages and repairs. 

Department of Defense: Funding for operational and maintenance costs associated with natural disasters affecting military facilities. 

Corps of Engineers: Funds for studying, constructing, and repairing flood and storm damage reduction projects. 

FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency): $29 billion for disaster relief, including funds for oversight and specific disaster assistance like the Hermit’s Peak/Calf Canyon Fire. 

Division C – Health: Extends funding and provisions for community health centers, the National Health Service Corps, diabetes programs, and various health security measures until March 31, 2025. 

Division D – Extension of Agricultural Programs: Extends various agricultural programs from the Agriculture Improvement Act of 2018 until September 30, 2025, or later where specified. 

Division E – Other Matters: Extends whistleblower programs, cybersecurity authorizations, and temporary orders on fentanyl-related substances. Also includes a temporary extension of the public debt limit until January 30, 2027. 

This act addresses immediate needs for funding continuity, disaster response, health, agriculture, and various other national priorities to ensure operational stability and emergency preparedness.

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So far, it’s pretty clean there, too.

And this is great news – Democrats WERE NOT INVOLVED.

Well, alrighty then.

But…there’s still too much money flowing out the door for the GOP hardliners, and the debt ceiling waiver has them digging their heels in, which has already torqued off the big guy.

This could be a real slog because you know damn well Democrats aren’t voting for any of it.

Roy, and maybe some others, will only get more stubborn if phones start ringing off the hook.

As if on cue…

HERE’S HAKEEM!

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It sure sounds like he’s a ‘no.’

Johnson better wrangle his cats. I mean, this is the test of a speaker right here, not rolling over to let Democrats write something ‘we can all agree on.’

Pelosi is gonna be mad she’s missing it. If a minor miracle occurs and Johnson shoves this through, it still faces Schumer and his den of thieves. 

That should be fun…again, if it gets that far.

Meanwhile, they’re all still moaning and blaming Elon, which has caused the funniest about-face.

If this contretemps about Musk and X has done anything besides save us a buttload of money…

…at least it’s made Democrats interested in who is actually the president again

 Go figure.

And…?

PFFFT

The Republican defections tanked it.

Shutdown, here we come.