Scientists Have Cooked Up The “Christmas Dinner Of The Future” And It Sounds Like A Downgrade

Ah… Christmas dinner. Is there anything like it?

Well, Thanksgiving dinner is pretty damn close, but still, it’s a meal that we all look forward to every year.

And speaking of “looking forward,” did you ever wonder what Christmas dinner might look like in the future?

I haven’t given it much thought, either, but assumed it would involve everyone swallowing capsules of green bean casserole or beaming the flavor of ham or turkey into our frontal lobes.

But not so, says the team of scientists at the UK Research and Innovation, or UKRI.

They’ve got some ideas about how the meal might change in the years to come.

One of the big things they think is coming is meat that was fed seaweed and specifically said that pigs in a blanket (the English version consisting of a small sausage wrapped in bacon. Reading that sentence probably made your cholesterol go up).

I don’t know about you, but whenever I have some sausage or bacon, I always think, “Good… but do you know what it needs? Seaweed funk.”

What a spread. Too bad it won’t be this good in the future. (Getty Images)

They also say that lab-grown meat will be served alongside turkey, special broccoli high in glucoraphanin which helps maintain cholesterol levels (so you can eat more pigs in a blanket!) and a “SuperSoup” which helps your metabolic health could end up being the first course, per Daily Mail.

Look… I get that things change, but I think we’ve perfected Christmas dinner. That’s why we all eat pretty much the same thing. There’s no reason to change it.

Also, it’s one meal a year. Twice if you include Thanksgiving (and three times if you include the holiday I created, Mattsgiving). We can eat seaweed-fed pork or super-charged broccoli the rest of the year, let’s keep going the traditional route on Christmas.

Who’s with me?

*Crowd cheers in agreement*