Zuck Makes Pilgrimage to Mar-a-Lago, Kisses Trump’s Ring: The

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Next week, President-elect Donald Trump will release his latest book, “Save America.” On the cover is the now-iconic image of Trump standing unbowed, unbroken, and unafraid — with rivulets of blood streaking down his face — after surviving an assassin’s bullet.

It’s a helluva photo.

In the picture, doesn’t the Secret Service agent on the right sort of look like Mark Zuckerberg, the CEO of ~~Facebook~~ Meta? Either way, it’s the greatest historic photo-bomb since Texas Governor John Connally in ’63.

However, in Trump’s new book, he makes a very pointed allegation against Zuckerberg: He claims Zuck conspired against him in the 2020 election, and says that the Facebook founder would “spend the rest of his life in prison” if he ever tried it again.

Here’s a passage:

[Zuckerberg] would bring his very nice wife to dinners, be as nice as anyone could be, while always plotting to install shameful Lock Boxes in a true PLOT AGAINST THE PRESIDENT.

He told me there was nobody like Trump on Facebook. But at the same time, and for whatever reason, steered it against me. We are watching him closely, and if he does anything illegal this time he will spend the rest of his life in prison — as will others who cheat in the 2024 Presidential Election.

Perhaps sensing that the worm has turned (and is now packing heat), Zuckerberg humbled himself yesterday, bowing in low homage before the president-elect at a Thanksgiving Eve feast at Mar-a-Lago. According to media reports, it’s unclear if he kissed Trump’s ring before the meal or afterwards. (I’m guessing before: Trump is a well-known germaphobe, and for hygienic purposes, it’s probably better to smooch someone’s hand prior to stuffing your face with foreign cheeses and shellfish.)

Trump insiders are claiming that it’s morning again on Facebook: Zuck has seen the error of his ways and now pledges to be a MAGA booster!

“Mark Zuckerberg has been very clear about his desire to be a supporter of and participant in this change that we’re seeing all around America, all around the world with this reform movement that Donald Trump is leading,” Trump advisor Stephen Miller said on Fox News. “Mark Zuckerberg, like so many business leaders, understands that President Trump is an agent of change, an agent of prosperity.”

The Meta CEO’s “road to Damascus” seems to have begun in the summer of 2024.

“Seeing Donald Trump get up after getting shot in the face and pump his fist in the air with the American flag is one of the most badass things I’ve even seen in my life,” Zuck said in July. “On some level as an American, it’s, like, hard to not get kind of emotional about that spirit and that fight, and I think that that’s why a lot of people like the guy.”

Then, one month later, Zuck sent a letter to House Republicans, saying he “regrets” buckling to the Biden administration’s pressure campaign to censor sociopolitical content. Specifically, he said it was a mistake to shadow-ban (or just plain ban) coverage of Hunter Biden’s laptop. CBS News killed the story, which the FBI and Democratic intelligence operatives falsely claimed was “Russian disinformation.”

“It’s since been made clear that the reporting was not Russian disinformation, and in retrospect, we shouldn’t have demoted the story,” Zuck told Republicans.

Furthermore, he promises to stand his ground in the future

“I believe the government pressure was wrong,” he wrote in the letter, “and I regret that we were not more outspoken about it. I feel strongly that we should not compromise our content standards due to pressure from any administration in either direction — and we’re ready to push back if something like this happens again.”

How sincere is Zuckerberg? Is he actually pro-MAGA, or did he lick his finger, point it skyward, and (finally) realize which way the wind was blowing? It seems foolish to wholly discount the motivation of crass self-interest; after all, the best way to be a leader in 2024 is to find an active, vibrant movement — and then push yourself to the front of the line.

But it does follow a larger trend of America’s billionaires being broified. In a very real sense, it’s the broification of the billionaire class.

In the old days, billionaires got fat, lounged on yachts, and lit cigars with Ben Franklins. Not anymore! Now, billionaires are getting buff, learning Brazilian jiu-jitsu, and challenging each other to fistfights.

I think it began with Joe Rogan: He made MMA and fitness cool.

And it snowballed quickly. Have you seen Jeff Bezos lately? He looks like he could bench-press a Buick. Elon Musk (when he’s not attending UFC events) has been learning MMA, too. So has Zuckerberg:

As a non-billionaire, I find it kind of annoying: If a guy is richer than me AND he can kick my ass, what the Hell do I have left?! (Well, I’m pretty sure I can drink more beer than those guys. Ha! Buncha wimps.)

But it’s an important cultural development, because today’s rockstars no longer play guitar. They’re not singing songs, banging groupies, or rocking stadiums. Rock is dead.

Been dead for 20 years.

Instead, today’s rockstars… are the tech billionaires: Guys like Bezos, Zuck, and Musk.

Kids today aren’t daydreaming about being the next Taylor Swift. That’s boring! Instead, they dream of being a billionaire like Elon Musk: Disrupting society, making (and breaking) your own rules, and blazing your own path.

And when you stop and think about it… what’s more rock & roll than that?

This Thanksgiving, if you hear a low, deep, rumbling noise, don’t automatically assume it’s coming from your Uncle Larry’s digestive tract: There’s a cultural shift afoot. Our country is manning-up.

And it all began with the broification of our billionaires.