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Failed Democrat presidential contender and current Vice President-in-Hiding Kamala Harris emerged from her hole on Tuesday, saw a bottle of Hennessy, and ought to have retreated right back into her hiding spot. Instead, she turned on the camera and uploaded the video to X, and now it is our sacred duty to point and laugh.

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Harris has spent the last week or so relaxing in Hawaii, but you’d never guess it. Most vacationers go to Hawaii to relax. Judging by the video, she seems to have gone there to drown her failures in booze before giving one of those “Mommy’s drunk again” speeches to her kids.

(Don’t ask me how I know about those.)

But don’t take my word for it — watch the clip yourself and, don’t worry, it’s only half a minute long. Half a minute of unintentional hilarity and/or tragedy.

It’s a long way down from joy, isn’t it?

Of all the replies — and there are about a million of them; Harris is getting ratioed like sixth-grade math — this one might be my favorite:

But back to my original point, which was just how drunk Harris was.

If your booze-detection skills aren’t quite as well honed as mine, take it from a professional: Harris is not even close to sober in that clip.

Of all the tells, my favorite is how she just barely slurs the word “ability” at the 21-second mark. She’s a practiced drunk, I’ll give her that much, and she does a good job for 30 seconds of trying to hide it. But as any traffic cop or highway patrolman can tell you, there’s only so much a drinker can hide after the seventh scotch and soda. 

So what’s going on here? Nobody with half a brain could have thought it was a good idea to post the video — with two caveats. The first is that, yes, I understand that anyone with half a brain probably made haste away from the Harris camp just as quickly as results started coming in from Pennsylvania on election day. The second is that while releasing the video wasn’t good for Harris, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t good for somebody else.

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Maybe even for multiple somebody elses. 

Harris has a nasty reputation for how she treats her staff, so my first thought was that some long-suffering staffer replied, “That’s a GREAT idea!” when the boss got drunk and said, “Lesh make a vimeo for my shupporshers.”

The Democrats’ official X account might have been happy to share the video, too, because if there’s one thing that party hates, it’s a loser. Remember Mike Dukakis? They don’t. Harris’s potential 2028 rivals — I’m looking at you, Gavin Newsom — probably couldn’t believe their good luck when the clip hit social media.

Since I can’t think of anything else to say except for how sad it appears after the third viewing, I’ll leave it to Polita_Rican to give you one last laugh.

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