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Though opinions vary on when it started, the official Thanksgiving turkey pardoning ceremony at the White House is a tradition that dates back to at least 1989 when George H.W. Bush was president and more or less made it an official event with his use of the words  “presidential pardon.”

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“But let me assure you, and this fine tom turkey, that he will not end up on anyone’s dinner table, not this guy. He’s granted a presidential pardon as of right now, and allow him to live out his days on a children’s farm not far from here,” Bush declared.

This presidential turkey, on the other hand, was not so lucky:

Two turkeys were on hand at the White House Monday for Joe Biden’s last turkey pardoning ceremony as president.  Their names are Peach and Blossom, and before meeting the POTUS, the two got five-star hotel accommodations at the Willard InterContinental in Washington, D.C. 

As one might imagine, any gathering featuring Biden and guests of either a feathery or furry variety is bound to have some especially cringeworthy moments, and this one was no exception.

There was Biden botching a tater-tot teleprompter talking point, which surprisingly made it into the official transcript:

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According the experts, Peach weighs 41 pounds and loves to eat hotdish and teter to- — tator tots, and cross-country skis.  (Laughter.)  You know, dreams to see — but his — the real dream he has is to see the Northern Lights, I’m told.  He lives by the mo- — the motto, “Keep calm and gobble on.”  (Laughter.)

Meanwhile, Blossom weighs 40 pounds, loves to eat cheese curds and watch boxing — (laughter); dreams of visit — to visit each one of Minnesota’s 10,000 lakes — (applause); lives by the motto, “No fowl play, just Minnesota nice.”  (Laughter.)

Watch:

There was also the moment where Peach got fed up with hearing Biden talk:

There was also this awkward moment, where one of the turkeys was engaged in displaying his turkey butt feathers which, if I’m reading it right, is a turkey courtship ritual of sorts (which happened at the beginning of the video clip):

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I’m not a turkey expert by any means (though I do love some turkey meat!) so please feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.

In any event, congratulations to Peach and Blossom for evading Thanksgiving dinner tables this year and for the rest of their lives, and to the American people for ensuring on Election Day that we won’t have to endure a Kamala Harris word salad on these matters for the next four years. 

FLASHBACK: Joe and Jill Ask for People’s New Year’s Resolutions and the Responses Were Lit