We support our Publishers and Content Creators. You can view this story on their website by CLICKING HERE.

Published|Updated

We’re all familiar with the concept of “Florida Man.”

Well, allow me to introduce you to Philly Man…

According to WPVI-TV, police in Delaware County got a call about a thief down at the local Denny’s. The caller reportedly specified that the man involved was wearing wet and muddy clothes, a detail that may or may not have been helpful when responding to a call at a Delco Denny’s.

Police eventually learned that the man in question was 39-year-old William Martin.

Now, we’re going to skip ahead a little bit to Martin’s mugshot, so you can visualize what is alleged in the criminal complaint against him.

…Alright… so… he’s a Flyers fan.

As is so often the case, this alleged incident was not contained to Denny’s. The criminal complaint alleges that Martin left the home of the Grand Slam and went to a nearby warehouse owned by the company Esstech.

There, he is alleged to have done what anyone trying to evade police would do: spray fire extinguishers and steal a forklift.

About 40 minutes after the initial call to Denny’s, police got another call from a local Clarion Hotel about a man who crashed a forklift into her Ford Explorer after doing doughnuts and then took off.

Could that have been related to the Denny’s incident? 

Well, not long after that, police got another call, this time to a local Wawa where a man stole Gatorades and cigarettes, threatened people with — get this — a fire extinguisher, then drove away in — would you believe? — a forklift.

Was this related too? I think we all know it (allegedly) was.

Police found the forklift, but not before it had crashed into a church. Martin was found inside the aforementioned church where he sprayed the sanctuary with a fire extinguisher.

Fortunately, an eyewitness saw the crash into the church and told the press what he observed.

“He must have had the forks up pretty high,” eyewitness Joseph Maggitti said.

Yup. Thanks, Joseph. What gave that away? The face tat? The stolen forklift? Eating at Denny’s?

Whatever the reason for his rampage, Martin now faces a slew of charges including burglary, theft, criminal trespass, and criminal mischief.