The Squirrel Heard ‘Round the World

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It’s not about a squirrel. It was never about a squirrel.

I’d never heard of Peanut the Squirrel before this weekend. I don’t spend much of my time doom scrolling on Instagram.

I prefer to do it on X.

But don’t think I didn’t jump onto Grok to immediately exploit the situation with AI.

Do we not know the facts? Well, here the are:

Peanut (or P’Nut) the Squirrel was a orphaned grey squirrel rescued by Mark Longo after Longo saw the squirrel’s mother get hit by a car. After raising it to an appropriate age, they tried to release the squirrel back into the wild, but it returned to them with injuries. The little squirrel was returned to domestic life where he became an Internet sensation. At the time of this article, it is unclear whether Longo has the necessary licenses to be a wildlife rehabilitator.

Peanut became an Internet sensation on Instagram, Facebook and TikTok, because, honestly, who doesn’t want to watch an adorable squirrel eat waffles? On October 30th, New York’s Department of Environmental Conservation raided Longo’s home, seized Peanut and a raccoon named Fred, citing a “potential for human exposure to rabies.“

Except, not really, because Peanut and Fred live indoors where they are not at risk to get rabies in the first place. I don’t have many details on Fred, but Peanut had been living the life domestic for 7 years.

Anyway, the Department of Environmental Conservation and the county Department of Health euthanized the two animals in order to test them for rabies.

That’s the long story.

The short story is: a bloated bureaucracy broke down someone’s door and stole their pets because they didn’t have the right paperwork.

It’s rumored that some Karen reported them, but let’s not get into that, because it hasn’t been confirmed and, once it is, I’m sure justice will be swift.

So, why is everyone up in arms about a squirrel?

Because it’s not really about a squirrel.

While I’m not interested in Longo’s political leanings, this incident is exhibit 286323 of bloated bureaucratic overreach. After members of the Biden/Harris administration celebrated an apparent drop in crime rate, the FBI quietly revised the numbers to show that crime was actually up. Pete Buttigieg’s tweet is still up, too.

With crime the way it is, you would think the bureaucracy in New York, NEW YORK, of all places, has better things to do than conducting a five hour raid on someone who has a squirrel at their house.

The job market only added 12,000 jobs in October. That’s it. It was projected to be 113,000. And, the last 11 out of 13 jobs numbers have been revised DOWN the following month.

This isn’t even the worst of it. The only reason the job creation was in the positive numbers at all was because we added so many government employees. If not for the government jobs, October would have shown job loss.

But, let’s mobilize to murder a squirrel.

Our border is wide open. The number of illegal immigrants entering our country his skyrocketed under Biden/Harris and that’s just southern border encounters. It doesn’t count visa overstays and the number of illegals Biden has flown in under cover of night. If you want to take a look at the criminal statistics, here’s a link to the numbers from Customs and Border Patrol.

But, let’s mobilize to murder a squirrel.

Inflation is destroying America. We see it in every area. Most people are hit hardest in the gas tank and the grocery stores, but the inflation rate has made it so an entire generation may never be able to purchase their own homes.

But, let’s mobilize to murder a squirrel.

Despite the fact that everyone heard it, the White House edited an official transcript to make it seem like Joe Biden didn’t call Trump supporters “garbage.” Well, he DID, in fact, call half the country garbage.

But, let’s mobilize to murder a squirrel.

Finally, I’ll leave it here.

Kamala Harris was the most liberal senator by GovTrack in 2019, but if you want to see it, you’ll have to go to an archived page because the information has changed after she became the nominee. She wants to wage a war on misinformation, which really means she wants to take away the first amendment. She wants to expand the Supreme Court. She wants to take your guns.

And if they mobilize to murder a squirrel, what will they do when she’s in office?

That’s why a lot of people are upset about this squirrel.

It was never about a squirrel.

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Kate works in production at LwC. She is an author. When she isn’t writing…who are we kidding? She’s always writing. You can find her here on X.