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James Franklin does what James Franklin does

It was a tough weekend to be a ranked team in college football. Loses, some of which came to other ranked teams, were being handed out left and right.

In fact, seven ranked teams added to the loss column this weekend. Five of the seven who lost did so to unranked teams. Somewhat of a positive from the weekend.

There’s nothing quite like a ranked team failing to show up against an unranked opponent. Speaking of not showing up, Penn State’s offense was nowhere to be found on Saturday.

It was the biggest game of the weekend, No. 3 Penn State hosting No. 4 Ohio State. College GameDay and Big Noon Kickoff were in Happy Valley for the game.

Clay was there, as was OutKick’s Trey Wallace, Jason Kelce was also there getting to know the students, and even my brothers made the trip to State College for the game.

Beaver Stadium had a record 111,030 in attendance. They all witnessed – well maybe not Kelce – what I like to call a James Franklin special, another loss in a big game.

There’s nobody better at it. With the loss, Franklin is now 1-10 against the Buckeyes. But as fun as that record is, it gets even worse against top-five opponents.

Franklin is 1-13 against top-five opponents at Penn State and 1-17 if you count his three seasons at Vanderbilt. The man cannot for the life of him win big games.

He doesn’t have what it takes. He was booed in the tunnel and heard “Fire Franklin” chants after his latest failure against the Buckeyes. It was just another Saturday in Happy Valley.

Oh, and we can’t forget this exchange Franklin had with a fan.

After greeting the Penn State recruits in attendance as he made his way off the field, letting them know “you too could play in big games and lose them,” he proved he’s not built for the big ones once again.

He was heckled by a fan/possible student and asked for his name. This is as soft as it gets from a head coach.

You can’t get a DUI while riding a horse, not in the state of North Carolina

It would be easy to take my word for that, but don’t do that. You’re going to want to hear it from the mouth of a local cowboy who appeared to have knocked back a few before setting out on his horse.

He doesn’t need any fancy apps like Uber when he’s had a few. Nope, he just grabs his trusty horse, hops on, and opens another one before running his errand.

Why, you ask? I’ll let him tell you. As the video starts, the man who is sitting on a horse with an open bottle in his hand says confidently, “You cannot get a DUI on a horse in the state of North Carolina.” 

When questioned about that, he simply fires back with, “Look it up!” He adds that he could get a DUI if he were to ride his buggy, which I assume is horse-drawn.

He looks and sounds like a guy who would know the law. That said, I decided to follow his suggestion and look it up. I Googled “can you get a DUI on a horse in North Carolina” and the answer is no.

According to Google, what the cowboy said is absolutely correct.

You can’t get a DUI for riding a horse while impaired in North Carolina. It turns out, horses are not included in the definition of a vehicle in the state’s impaired driving laws.

There you have it. Ride a horse, save an Uber or something like that.

Weird but Great Beer Combo

– Gen X Warren M writes:

Hey SeanJo,

Great Screencaps today! I think a glazed donut with a little bacon would be good, but I don’t know if I would go for that much bacon wrapped around it.

But it got me into thinking about weird food combos, or in this case beer. I used to be a craft beer snob, but went back to drinking light beer when I realized I had a beer gut despite all the running and triathlons I do.

Anyway, Funky Buddha in Oakland Park, Florida had a legendary beer called Maple Bacon Coffee Porter. It was very hard to get, until they started selling more bottles at their huge annual party around January of each year and throughout South Florida. They sold the brewery and unfortunately the beer quality suffered, in my opinion. I heard the original owners recently bought it back and things are on track again.

I will say this is one of my favorite beers.

SeanJo

There’s a lot going on with that beer. Maple bacon and coffee? Were they going for a breakfast beer here? If so, I do respect the move.

I’m also glad to hear that you’re a recovering craft beer snob. We need fewer of those.

Lily Allen

Last week I wrote about Lily Allen’s claims that she makes more from selling feet pics on OnlyFans than she does from the millions of listeners of her music on Spotify.

This tugged at Paul from Saint Paul’s heartstrings. He’s weighed in on a few editions of True Romance and decided to get in on the Allen feet pic discussion too.

– Paul from Saint Paul writes:

Sean Jo,

This fits nicely into the [flaunt it if you got it] file.  At least she doesn’t have to give-up the bigger treasures for profit like most do on OnlyFans- so this is a big win.  Sex sells, and you have an entire world of people that invest a great amount of disposable income on satisfying fetishes along with other related proclivities. But it’s sort of funny how her pedicurist was the source of inspiration to pursue this opportunity on OnlyFans.   WikiFeet?  LOL.  Who knew?

But, if I had her star-power, I would want to know the calculation for her profits if she has 8 million monthly listeners on Spotify.  How would I know if I am getting a proper deal for my works based on my star-power unless I had that breakdown?  As an example: I guarantee you that Taylor Swift’s business model would account for every penny owed on her monthly listenership at Spotify, and if you are as good an artist as Lily Allen, then she owes it to herself to know her worth on these streaming sites.

Best,

PCA

StP, Mn.

SeanJo

Another top-notch breakdown of the game tape here by Paul. I don’t know what is going on in Saint Paul these days, but he gets it. Keep the emails coming.

Couple Busted Trying To ‘Reconcile’ Their Relationship On The Lawn Of A Georgia McDonald’s

This is a response to another story I wrote last week.

A couple simply trying to reconcile their relationship by taking a road trip ended up getting themselves arrested for getting it on in public on the lawn of a McDonald’s.

James here from Ohio has an interesting observation which begs the question: does McDonald’s value love?

– James from Ohio writes:

You can’t make love, but can eat E  coli infected onions on your Big Mac.

SeanJo

Funny times we live in these days, James. What happened to the customer is always right? This yet another sign of a deteriorating society.

——-

That’s it for this Sunday’s version of Screencaps. I’m two tumblers deep in coffee and need to get going on a full day of watching football and writing. Happy birthday to Rachel Bush.

As always, the inbox is open, so send whatever you have to sean.joseph@outkick.com.

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