Common Dating Mistakes Go Viral, Advice Is Outstanding

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PublishedOctober 30, 2024 8:48 AM EDT|UpdatedOctober 30, 2024 8:48 AM EDT

What are some common dating mistakes people should look to avoid?

It’s a reasonable question that I’m sure everyone reading this has either pondered from time to time or has direct experience with.

Nobody is perfect when it comes to the dating game. In fact, I’d argue most people are pretty bad, but just like anything, experience and more reps lead to improvement.

Dating mistakes go viral on Reddit.

As usual, I was sipping on my black coffee (a true cowboy always drinks it black with nothing added) when I came across a Reddit thread titled, “What’s a common dating mistake you think people should avoid?“

Obviously, there was a 100% chance I was clicking, and the stories and advice didn’t disappoint. Check out some below, and hit me with your thoughts at David.Hookstead@outkick.com:

Getting dating advice or “standards” from what tiktok tells them. “If he/she isn’t (blank) or has (blank) move on.” Or people who learn “tests” from there and do it to their so “if you say (usually something toxic) and they don’t respond like (blank) they are usually cheating, Blows my mind how much people actually do this. Not even teens but 20’s – 30’s.
Don’t date for potential, date for reality. People who date for potential will be forever stuck trying to change their partner. Those who date their partners for who they are can definitely still change and help them but have already accepted them for who they are.
Not being yourself. If you’re weird be weird. If you’re an over the top romantic be over the top romantic. Don’t “test the waters”. You’ll end up in a much happier relationship than if you slowly show them the real you only to find out they aren’t into it.
Biggest mistake I’ve seen guys and girls make is trying to make it work with someone who is incompatible, especially sex drive.
Rushing into things too quickly. It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement and want to dive in headfirst. Taking time to really get to know someone helps build a solid foundation.
Overthinking things?
Playing games. The whole ‘I want to talk to them, but they should call/message me first’. If you want to call, call. If you want to text/message, message them. Don’t expect them to read your mind or play by some rules you have made up and not communicated to them. It’ll just leave everyone feeling frustrated.
Comparing your ex to the person you’re currently dating.
Not being yourself! Be weird, be vulnerable, be emotional, be whatever/whomever the f*ck you are. If you’re not 100% yourself you won’t just hurt the other person, but you’ll be stuck behind a mask that won’t make you happy. We should always strive to better ourselves, work on our flaws, but we cannot just pretend to be someone else.
To not ask any questions about the other person. Some people just talk about themselves and don’t ask a single question of their date!
Dating with the hope of them changing to be someone you’ll like even more. If he doesn’t hold doors open for you and that’s what you want don’t date him. Don’t date him and try to make him the guy that opens doors for you
Dating someone who doesn’t want kids when you want kids. This is a non negotiable deal breaker but people really do ignore it in their early twenties because the person who wants kids is happy to wait but eventually they get older and have to break up over it. Save yourself the time and heartbreak.
Not being straightforward about your intentions. If you aren’t wanting anything serious, make sure to tell the other person! Don’t waste anyone’s time or cause heart break. Don’t string someone along and make them question why they aren’t good enough.
Don’t try to be the person you think the other party is looking for. You’ll inevitably revert back to being yourself, and that’s when things will fail because that’s not who they fell for. Cliche advice but; be yourself.

A lot of good advice in that thread. A lot of it. It’s actually one of the more entertaining threads that I’ve read in a long time.

Allow me to share two pieces of advice that I’ve been told for years. One I’m sharing just because it’s funny. I’m sharing the other because it’s true.

Let’s do the funny one first. I had a very successful football coach back in Wisconsin once tell me, “Marry for genetics and DNA. You can learn to love them later.”

The idea was you want kids who are going to grow into great athletes. As I once got scolded for jokingly (or maybe not!) saying, the first thing I look for in a woman is whether our son would be a solid dual-threat QB with Heisman potential. Seeing as how my fiancée is a former pro athlete, I think I checked this box even though it wasn’t my intent.

Second, this is the important one that I encourage all men to listen to. High-maintenance people in life aren’t worth the time of day. Now, that stance might upset some people. I don’t care. You can send all complaints to David.Hookstead@outkick.com, and they’ll only be responded to if they make me laugh.

There’s a lot of people on this planet who seem to think they’re so special that their bad behavior must be tolerated and accepted. Wrong. I don’t care how attractive a woman is (or a guy if you’re a woman reading this!), she’s not attractive enough to be high-maintenance.

How do we know this is true? The answer is simple. There are a lot of attractive people with good hearts walking around. Why would a person tolerate a high-maintenance individual when there are so many better options out there?

That’s the best advice I can give is to not tolerate one second of that nonsense. It is a monumental mistake and a huge waste of time. True story, I once had a woman tell me it was my job as a guy to know what she’s thinking at all times and cater my actions to it. Would you like to guess how long that situation lasted? Not long at all.

On the other hand, I’ve met some women over the years prior to meeting my future wife that were very down-to-Earth and as low-maintenance as possible. They could rock flannel, sling it with an AR-15 and sit around a fire listening to country music for hours on end. That’s the kind of person worth your time and energy.