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No one can reasonably disagree with Ammo Grrrll’s proposition that YOU REALLY CAN’T LOATHE THEM ENOUGH. She writes:

There is a new extremely scientific Sociological Survey that I just made up (also I worked the French fry station at McDonald’s) which ranked professions according to Respect, Trustworthiness and Truthiness.

The results are in! Center-right weekly columnists with novelist husbands came in first, followed by really tall Astronauts, followed by Insurance Claims Adjustors who have wives who play the piano. Strangely specific professions, those!

The penultimate most UNTRUSTWORTHY profession was a three-way tie between Porch Pirates, Nigerian Princes, and Degenerate Crack-Heads advising Ukraine energy companies. Coming in dead last, several places lower than Chronic Yeast Infections (which is not, strictly speaking, a profession) were Journalists and Electronic Media Stars!*

The self-importance of this latter class of people can never be overestimated. At gatherings, many of which I have attended as an entertainer, the Media Stars will NEVER make eye contact. This is not from well-deserved shame and embarrassment, as one would expect. No. It is because they are constantly searching the room, like an ever vigilant roving prison spotlight, looking for someone more important, more celebrated, more influential than YOU — to flatter or possibly even have sex with.

In your more prestigious Journalism Schools, the prospective Media Star (sometimes hilariously referred to as the “Talent”), has been taught NEVER to ask any of the “5 W’s” that used to be standard. That is the old racist way, back when Investigative Journalism was a thing. The NEW WAY is to establish the all-important Narrative. That one that all non-deplorable, non-Nazi people have agreed to, to wit:

America is a racist, sexist, imperialist, transphobic, homophobic, Islamophobic ageist heckscape and doodoo-hole. But that does NOT in any way signify that the people who assert that are leaving any time soon. Which, frankly, I find surprising. If I hated America as much as Leftists do, there’s no way I’d stay. Ah well, there’s millions of dollars to be made from spouting — or in the case of Whoopi and Joy Reid, even spitting –That Narrative.

It also means that every Third World indigent on the planet deserves to come to America unvaxxed and unvetted, even though it is advertised as a terrible place. Even if the Newcomers are kinda sorta vetted, and found to have killed, assaulted, or sex-trafficked multiple people on the way here – as kind of a practice run for doing it here — that does not mean they are not entitled to be fully supported by taxpayers in a toxic Red State.

More narrative: All men are toxic, except a handful of gay ones. Those who have not been victims of crime are just privileged and deserve to be victims of crime so that we can have Victim Equity. All criminals are misunderstood and were just on the verge of turning their lives around, even if they are 40. Sadly, we don’t know the “root causes” of criminality – such bad guesses as greed, laziness, rank stupidity, or psychosis — are entirely without merit. There are at least 58 genders, but if we come up with a 59th, you’d better keep up or be written out of the human race.

Warning: Updates may occur randomly and suddenly and seem (you should pardon the expression) to “trump” previous narratives. Such as when Women’s Sports were considered important for WOMEN WOMEN WOMEN and everyone loved Women’s Sports even though we preferred not to watch them. Sometimes, in order to make room for Women’s Sports not to be watched, some popular college men’s sports had to be abandoned. Oh, well. But THEN, right out of the blue, MEN in dresses or onesie swimsuits with extra crotch room for a distinguished member INVADED women’s sports and started winning medals galley west!

Some sincere Feminists who had worked for many decades on Title IX took the hateful position that Women’s Sports should be preserved for – are you sitting down? – Women! The very idea! Those intolerant bigots got roundly pummeled on Tik Toxic and FacePlant and Twitcher, which drove our former heroines, now Nazi h8ters, from the marketplace! In today’s political climate, if you still zig when you should zag, it’s going to go badly for you.

Anyway, that’s most of The Narrative, so back to Journalism, our putative topic. Once the Narrative has been agreed upon as Holy Writ, then it is clearly understood that the Media Stars must only ask questions or feature information that SUPPORTS that Narrative. Duh.

Oh, how I wish that before more Divinely Diverse intolerant Newsheads with good hair could be loosed on the world they would have to take one final exam.

That final exam of every J School should be given by a crusty Old School News Daily Editor-In-Chief, an insensitive, leering, cigar-smoking dinosaur who cares nothing about “feelings” but is passionate about such irrelevant things as grammar, spelling, research, sourcing, not plagiarizing, accuracy, talent, creativity, deadlines and other racist things.

Thrust from the college “safe spaces” into the cruel world, the final exam would be held in a soundproof concrete bunker in an Army Bomb-Defusing Department. The prospective journalist will come into the room, notice the ticking bomb, check her makeup and cleavage, and ask the Instructor, sitting a safe distance away, “What should I do with what appears to be a bomb?” She will be told only to “cut the wire”! One will be blue, one red, one green.

Unless she asks, “WHICH wire?” she will blow up. If she asks and cuts the right one, the Instructor will say, “See? That’s called a FOLLOW-UP question. ‘Tis a GOOD thing and righteous to behold! You have a ghost of a prayer of a remote chance of a long shot at becoming an actual Journalist. You pass!”

Sadly, if the Instructor should not be a crusty old editor, but instead a woman of color, the confused prospective journalist will not want to offend by probing any further. The poor woman will think, “I mean, she SAID ‘cut the wire’ and that’s all I’m supposed to ask; questioning any non-white person, even a heterosexual, is evidence of White Supremacy…” Ka-Boom! Oopsie. Bye-bye.

Even IF the Instructor is that toxic, crusty, old white male, with his relentless Icky Male Gaze and he says, “Cut the green one,” she may very well elect to die rather than submit to the authority of a mansplainer. Certainly an understandable option, given the horror of the Icky Male Gaze and her Strong Independent Womanly inability to take good, accurate information from an inferior. Ka-Boom! Oopsie. Epic Fail. Bye-bye. A Grrrll can dream.

*P.S. It was actually my pleasure to know several of the top local Twin Cities newscasters waaay back in the day. Dave Moore, Paul Magers, Diana Pierce, Pat Miles, Paul Douglas – familiar names to Geezer-American Minnesotans — were all nice, fun, smart, unpretentious people, several of them even devout Christians! I cannot speak to the current local crop. The ones I see on national television are simply beneath contempt.