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U.S. — Former Vice President Dick Cheney excitedly joined the Democrat Party today after seeing that Democrats are allowed to shoot humans at their local gun range.

Cheney announced the move after learning that Missouri Senate candidate Lucas Kunce headed to a gun range, shot a man, and then took photos with the human he’d nailed.

“I can’t believe I’ve been missing out on this,” said Cheney, happily loading up his rifle. “Boy, do I love shooting humans. Looks like that Missouri fella shot his human in the arm — I’m more of a shoot-him-in-the-face guy, but to each his own. Sign me up.”

The entire Cheney family has decided to move to the Democrat Party, although Liz Cheney has adamantly stated it’s not because she likes shooting people. “Don’t get me wrong, shooting people is a perk,” said the former Congresswoman. “I’m joining the Democrats because I was forcefully ejected from the Republican Party for being awful. So, I guess it’s a little bit different.”

At publishing time, former Vice President Cheney had asked a photographer to accompany him to the gun range so he could get a professional picture of whatever human he bagged.

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