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The vice president’s campaign timeout left her tagging Eminem and a rapping former president who was slammed as “exhausted” by former President Donald Trump.

As Election Day closed to within two weeks, the 78-year-old GOP leader was leaving no doubts as to his stamina with a full schedule of town halls, rallies, and interviews. The same couldn’t be said for Vice President Kamala Harris as she shirked stumping in Detroit, Michigan Tuesday, sending a barb-ready former President Barack Obama who fancied himself an insult comic and rapper.

“He’s trying to sell you golden sneakers. He’s trying to sell you a $100,000 watch. Says it’s made in Switzerland, but nobody really knows,” the Democratic Party figurehead said to the crowd as he ripped items sold throughout the Republican’s campaign. “My favorite is the Trump Bible.”

“He’s Mr. Tough Guy on China, except when he can make a few bucks,” Obama argued. “I mean, who is hawking merch when they’re running for president?”

After he was introduced by Eminem, the two-term executive pandered by offering a spoken word iteration of the Motor City local’s “Lose Yourself.”

“Now I noticed that my palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, vomit on my sweater already, mom’s spaghetti,” said Obama. “I’m nervous but on the surface, I look calm and ready to drop bombs but I keep on forgetting.”

Meanwhile, the rapper contended during the introduction, “Going into this election, the spotlight is on us more than ever, and I think it’s important to use your voice, so I’m encouraging everybody to get out and vote, please.”

“I also think that people shouldn’t be afraid to express their opinions, and I don’t think anyone wants an America where people are worried about retribution of what people will do if you make your opinion known,” Eminem went on. “I think Vice President Harris supports a future for this country where these freedoms and many others will be protected and upheld.”

The opinions expressed by Obama that saw Trump referring to him as a “real jerk” included the Democrat, who’d turned a blind eye to President Joe Biden’s decline, picking up the leftist narrative about the GOP leader’s faculties that misrepresented a town hall in Oaks, Pennsylvania.

“He’s just up there swaying to ‘Ave Maria’ and ‘YMCA,’” he offered, repeating the schtick he’d delivered in Madison, Wisconsin while adding, “Now I will say our playlist might be better. I’d have ‘Lose Yourself’ on there.”

As had been reported, that town hall included two medical emergencies within moments of one another as the crowd grew overheated. In order to rekindle their enthusiasm, Trump requested some music be played that, as a result of popular demand, continued at length.

Of course, the GOP nominee wasn’t within return fire for Obama as he slighted his predecessor for both adding to the divisiveness of the campaign trail and for seeming to have lost a step.

“I think he’s a real jerk because I’ve watched him campaign over the last couple of days,” Trump told a crowd in North Carolina. “Over the last couple of days, I’ve watched him campaign. What a divider he is…He divides this country. He couldn’t care less, him and his little group of people.”

“The reason they’re bringing him out — because he doesn’t even want to do it. I think he’s exhausted. I watched him talk and I think the guy’s exhausted,” the onetime commander-in-chief went on as Harris herself took the day off from campaigning, relying upon “so-called stars” in her stead. “He’s looking a little bit older, isn’t he? You know? Nothing wrong with that. But he’s exhausted.”

Kevin Haggerty
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