Lindsey Vonn Celebrates 40, Tennessee Too Loud For Alabama, Jelly Roll

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This weekend was a roller coaster of emotions.

Of course, it was the 107th installment of the Third Saturday in October. And in case you missed it, the Tennessee Volunteers handed Alabama its second loss of the season and kept our own College Football Playoff hopes alive.

Those last two drives definitely shaved some years off my life, but it was worth it.

And I’m thrilled that the dog I found on the side of the road in college — who accompanied me to every tailgate during some of Tennessee Football’s worst years — has now lived long enough to see us beat Bama twice in her lifetime.

Sunday, though, was another story. As many of you know, I’m cursed enough to also be a Miami Dolphins fan. So this week, I took advantage of a kind offer from my mom’s best friend to use her season tickets to watch the Dolphins take on the Indianapolis Colts at Lucas Oil Stadium.

It was the worst football I’ve ever seen in my life.

On the bright side, the Dolphins and Colts fans in my section all got along in beautiful harmony. Misery truly does love company. We found common ground in the fact that we all chose to put ourselves through this torture when we could have spent our Sunday doing literally anything else. Special shoutout to the stadium beer man who kept us buzzed enough not to care that our teams looked terrible.

Ultimately, as you know, the Colts were slightly less terrible and got the W. And I wasted a perfectly good vacation day.

Anyway, let’s get to some stories, shall we? Kick back and relax. It’s Nightcaps time!

Salty Alabama Broadcaster Claims Tennessee Uses Fake Crowd Noise

It’s not enough for Alabama fans that they have won 16 of the last 18 meetings with Tennessee. No, no — they can’t even give credit where credit is due when they do lose.

The noise level of Neyland Stadium reached about 126.4 decibels during the fourth-and-22 play late in the game, according to the in-stadium decibel reader on the big screen. That’s when Alabama radio broadcaster Chris Stewart asserted that some of it was not organic during the game on the Crimson Tide Sports Network Broadcast.

“You‘ve got 100,000 plus, and they also pipe in crowd noise as well,” Stewart said.

As someone who has spent a good amount of time at Neyland, I can attest that that place is LOUD. Even when I went to school there (2007–2010 seasons) and our program was as exciting as burnt toast, it was deafening in there.

Last month, David Hookstead asked me, as our resident Vol alumna, where I’d rank Tennessee fans among the rest of the SEC. Obviously, I’m biased. But that 101,000+ capacity stadium is packed to the brim with loyal, screaming fans every Saturday — despite the fact that we haven’t won a damn thing in 26 years.

Not that I’d expect the spoiled rotten fans in Tuscaloosa to understand that. And that includes A.J. McCarron, who confidently claimed on X (and got community noted) that the Vols “100%” pipe in crowd noise.

Sheesh, you want Trump to dish you up some McDonald’s fries with all that salt?!

McCarron got absolutely ratio’d on that post, by the way, so I don’t need to rub it in. But the National Champion Tennessee Baseball team and Weigel’s convenience stores had fun with it, too.

Anyway, don’t be sore losers, Bama. You had your fun for YEARS. Now, try to bring that same energy during those seasons when you go 6-7.

Lindsey Vonn Celebrates 40th Birthday

Lindsey Vonn turned 40 years old over the weekend, and she’s still kicking ass — even with a brand new knee.

The former World Champion skier and Olympic gold medalist celebrated the milestone birthday with a post on Instagram that shows her working out and doing a little biometric testing with Red Bull.

This actually reminds me of a conversation I had with a couple of friends over the weekend, so if you’ll allow me, I’m going to hop on my soap box for a moment. Because if there’s anything that grinds my gears almost as much as the entire state of Alabama, it’s young people who b*tch about being “old.”

My friends are my age (mid-30s), and they were talking this weekend about how they don’t really go out much anymore. They like to stay home and relax more than they like going to bars. Which is fine, by the way. But here’s where I roll my eyes…

“That’s how I know I’m old,” one of them declared.

I told her, “No, you’re not old. You’re 36. Your priorities and your hobbies might have changed, but that doesn’t make you elderly.”

She then doubled down, saying that she feels elderly. So I reminded her that in 20-30 years, she’s going to wish she was as elderly as she is now. This is why I take care of myself, experience everything that I can and jump at the chance to do crazy stuff like climb mountains and run 200-mile Ragnar Relays. Because someday I won’t be able to.

But that time is not now — for me or for Lindsey Vonn.

Is Lindsey rolling over and playing dead just because she’s 40? Heck no, she is not! In fact, there are rumors circulating that — fresh off her partial knee replacement — Lindsey is preparing to make a comeback.

“She has been recovering well since then and her knee feels incredible,” a source told The New York Post. “She has been supported by Red Bull but as of right now she has no definitive plans or timeline.”

Lindsey wrote on Instagram that she underwent a Mako Robot-assisted lateral unicompartmental replacement in April. And just in case you aren’t a learned doctor, that means they cut off part of her bone and replaced it with titanium pieces.

She’s the bionic woman!

“I couldn’t imagine that you could ski really fast with an artificial knee joint,” former German skier Felix Neureuther recently told a Swiss newspaper. “But looking at it from a distance, I say: If anyone can do the seemingly impossible, it is the one and only Lindsey Vonn.”

OK, with all this skiing talk, my fellow South Park fans already know what’s next.

We’re gonna need a montage!

Anyway, if you’re in your 30s (or 40s, 50s, 60s, I don’t care), I hope that motivates you to quit griping about getting older and go catapult yourself on a pair of flat sticks down a snowy mountain!

Or just, like, go walk in the park or something.

Jelly Roll Quits X FOREVER (For Less Than A Day)

Jelly Roll is sick and tired of the negativity, y’all. He’s leaving Elon Musk’s X for good! (Or at least until it’s time to promote his tour or a new album.)

“This is for sure the most toxic negative app to exist ever — PERIOD. lol,” he wrote on Sunday. “This place is different man, I always heard it was the Wild West on here but man it’s insane . It’s a safe place for everyone to say mean shit to each other with no consequences. I’m out lol.”

Less than one day later, a scheduled post came from his account with a link to a ticket presale for his Nov. 26 show in Nashville.

Now, I’m not picking on Jelly Roll here. I have nothing against the guy, other than the fact that he chose one of the dumbest stage names possible. (Imagine being able to call yourself or your band literally anything in the world, and you choose something like “Jelly Roll” or “Hoobastank.”)

I digress. Of course, Jelly Roll — whose government name is Jason Bradley DeFord — isn’t the first person to announce his break-up with a social media platform. People do it all the time. And it’s annoying every time.

Now, don’t get me wrong: Social media can be extremely toxic. There are times when I make it a point NOT to open social media as to avoid possible encounters with doom-and-gloom news or morons.

But announcing it? That’s big Cartman energy, ya know?

Remember when loony Chrissy Teigen made a whole production of quitting Twitter back in 2021 and then came back 23 days later when she wasn’t getting enough attention? Same thing.

As the very popular Facebook group says, “This isn’t an airport. No need to announce your departure.”

Gender Reveal Ruined By Cake Baker

A woman on TikTok is furious after the baker she hired for her gender reveal party spoiled the surprise via voicemail.

According to Ariel in a now-viral video, she handed the baker a sealed envelope from the doctor revealing her unborn baby’s gender. She told the baker she wanted raspberry filling for a girl or blackberry filling if it was a boy.

Later, the baker called the phone number on the account and said that they could not do the blackberry filling — thus letting Ariel know prematurely that she was having a boy.

Party ruined!

I know gender reveal parties get a bad rap, but I’ll play devil’s advocate here.

Are they completely unnecessary? Absolutely. Have I ever once cared about what genitalia another person’s child will be born with? Absolutely not.

But if having a corny pink and blue party is something the couple really wants (and they aren’t starting wildfires or something), then I say, let people enjoy things.

I mean, I throw a birthday party for my dog every year, so who am I to throw stones?

That said, if you are going to throw a gender reveal party for your future kid, that’s on YOU to make sure the surprise remains a surprise. It’s not the baker’s responsibility — especially if she has a whole bunch of other orders to fulfill, too.

It’s my understanding that most parents-to-be designate a friend or family member to handle the reveal so that this exact thing doesn’t happen. Maybe a lesson learned for baby No. 2.

What do you think? Am I being too hard on mom here or is it her fault the surprise was ruined? Do gender reveal parties need to be outlawed altogether? Email me at Amber.Harding@outkick.com.

Anyway, congrats on the baby boy!