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At what age should men stop having bachelor parties & going to bachelor parties?

During a recent round of golf with Canoe Kirk and Diesel, the conversation turned to bachelor parties. Canoe Kirk was heading to a golf and casino bachelor party and it pretty much set off Diesel.

Should men have bachelor parties for second marriages?
Should it be illegal for men over 40 to have blowout bachelor parties?
Dads: Did you attend a bachelor party and think to yourself, ‘I’d rather be on a couch right now watching college football.’
Do you have a bachelor party horror story?

– Diesel sent me the following on what age is the bachelor party cutoff:

Imho 35. At that point it should just be dinner and golf etc. an evening of debauchery should be spent on the youth. If you aren’t married by 35, believe me, you have had many evenings of degeneracy and do not need any more.

Kinsey:

I’m on record stating how my dad and brother took me to Put in Bay for what was supposed to be a simple guys trip to the Bay to screw around, have some drinks and come home the next day.

The next morning was like The Hangover.

Little did we know we were on PIB during a huge roofie era. It got so bad for PIB that in 2014, a Cleveland website dubbed it ‘Roofie Island.’

I woke up curled in a ball in a hotel bathroom that looked like an absolute war zone. I stumble out into the bedroom and my dad is laying across the bed and there’s blood everywhere. It looked like a murder scene. I’d never seen a murder scene, but it was what I had seen in movies.

My dad rolls over and has a massive cut on his forehead. I can’t believe my eyes.

How the hell did that happen?

He doesn’t know. Based on the blood, it looked like he’d been stabbed.

I start yelling at my brother about what happened. He doesn’t know.

I don’t know.

We hauled ass out of that hotel and to the Miller Ferry. My dad looks like he was in a UFC fight. College girls keep telling him he must’ve had a good night.

Eventually, we get back to the mainland and start driving home. My brother is puking out of my dad’s truck. I’m following them and he’s just letting loose.

Upon returning to my house, Mrs. Screencaps comes out to greet us and takes one look at my dad’s head and gasps. We’re just three weeks out from the wedding.

Mrs. Screencaps took it in stride. Roofie Island got us.

The only explanation is that my dad must’ve fallen face first on the walk back to the hotel that the three of us do not remember. We’re convinced we were served drinks targeted for women or roofied to steal wallets and cash left on bartops.

Conclusion:

There’s zero doubt we were roofied. I’d never seen my dad like that and never saw him like that after that night, and we’ve had some wild nights on the road over the years. A coworker, who was a professional partier at the time, didn’t believe a word of my story. A couple of weeks later, he went to PIB with his wife and friends for a casual weekend. After a night on the town, the wife found him laying in the bushes outside their hotel room the next morning.

Roofie Island got him, too.

His mind was made up. I wasn’t lying.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

Dads being dads during fantasy drafts

– Mike in CT writes:

Did a fantasy hoops draft with my college buddies last night, and my 11 year old son was in the war room as my co-GM – and he knows way more about the NBA than I do. He’s got 3 older sisters, so its amazing to have a fellow full sports fan and fantasy enthusiast.

Except, one of my buddies (and a fellow Screencapper) named his team “Dixie Normus”.

My son is looking at the draft room online and asks what the name means. I told him to say it out loud, he did twice, AS MY WIFE WALKS INTO THE ROOM. It clicks in his head, and he laughs uncontrollably for 2 minutes. My wife was laughing too by the end of the night.

‘Sheriff John’ in Houston would lose it!

Do you remember the story of the woman in Washington state whose property was swarmed by raccoons who wanted fed? The lady had been feeding a small family of raccoons for years and then all the cousins showed up.

There’s now a 911 call for that story and it’s a home run.

More beer reviews for Homebrew Bill

– Tyler V. writes:

Bill did a great job!

Kinsey:

Another thing I need to say about the whole Homebrew Bill Island Hopper experience is that I didn’t have a single emailer sending me messages that they needed my help or that they couldn’t get in touch with Homebrew Bill. The guy just gets it. He doesn’t need my help.

And I want you to know that Bill DID NOT ask me to promote his beer. There are plenty of guys in Lincoln, NE who would suck down Bill’s beer, especially when it’s a short, 20-case run.

#notsponsored

If you want to talk beer or see if Bill has a remaining 4-pack, email him: bill.luhman@gmail.com

Was this a penalty?

– Pat O. writes:

Bad Calls and missed calls go both ways. Mahomes gets his as well …of course people will say it is deserved.

What’s it like to live on the Ohio/Michigan border? You see things like this

– Canoe Kirk spotted this plate on his way to work this morning:

Here’s one I didn’t think would happen in 2024

Look at Chick-fil-A expanding the business empire. Now give me a documentary on fil-A. Give me some 30 for 30s on workers who went from drive-thru to senior VPs.

Give me a podcast called, “My Pleasure.”