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The Late Show host Stephen Colbert was not a fan of his CBS colleagues’ decision to refrain from fact-checking during Tuesday’s vice presidential debate. However, his concerns were one-sided because he implicitly approved of Tim Walz not being fact-checked about his claim that a Donald Trump victory means pregnant women will have to register with the federal government. Later, when MSNBC’s Chris Hayes joined the program, he claimed it was “delicious” when the moderators went back on their word and started to pick a fight with JD Vance on immigration.

Colbert’s feelings were clear from a cold open that compared the lack of fact-checking to an NFL game where the players enforce the rules, “This weekend it’s the NFL on CBS. All your favorite hard-hitting gridiron action, but with a new twist. The players call penalties no now. Why let the competitors play by the rules when they could be enforcing them? Heck, why have rules at all?… The NFL on CBS: we just hope both teams have fun.”

Moderators, like referees, exist to enforce the rules, not help one team, which is an idea Colbert should get behind because later, he recalled, “the conversation turned to reproductive rights. Tim Walz brought up Project 2025, leading to this question for Vance.”

He then played a clip of co-moderator Norah O’Donnell, “Senator, do you want to respond to the governor’s claim? Will you create a federal pregnancy monitoring agency?”

Even the fact-checkers, including CBS, have labeled that Walz claim about Project 2025 false, but Colbert didn’t care as he launched into a Vance impersonation, “No, I’ll just monitor ’em myself. Starting with you two ladies. Margaret, Norah, when was the first day of your last time of impurity? And did you go outside the village to the moon hut and only return to the village after offering a turtle dove to the elders?”

Colbert then teed up a Vance clip, “JD Vance went on a whole rigamarole trying to justify the overturning of Roe v. Wade.”

In the clip, Vance asked Walz, “Do you want to force Catholic hospitals to perform abortions against their will? Because Kamala Harris has supported suing Catholic nuns to violate their freedom of conscience.”

The supposedly Catholic Colbert apparently doesn’t know how employer-provided health insurance works, “What are you talking about? Nuns don’t perform medical procedures. I know that! ‘Cause if they did, they’d be the stars of CBS’s latest medical drama, OBGY-NUN.”

Later, Hayes admitted Walz did not look the best, but tried to spin that as a positive, “Walz was so clearly very nervous, which I always very endearing and human when you hear that constriction in the throat. Kamala Harris’s first answer in the last debate was the same way, you could just hear it.”

Colbert also asked him about the fact-checking rule, “What do you make of that rule? Do you think that’s the right way to go? And what would you have wanted to fact-check.”

Hayes’s desire for facts also went one way, “I would want to do that, but I’m not negotiating for the campaigns. I understand why the Trump-Vance people don’t want there to be fact checks. They like to say false stuff. And in fact, it’s not just incidental or accidental. They intentionally say false things. So, as to produce a sort of fear reaction in people they’re talking to. So, you know, that’s the reason to do it. There’s a few things, I will say I think your colleagues at CBS did a very good job on the exchange about immigration, where, as a point of clarification, they were just like, these people have legal status called temporary protected status.” 

He continued, “JD Vance was like, ‘You said you wouldn’t fact-check me’ and then started trying to bulldoze them and then they cut his mic, that moment that you just played.

Vance also tried to rebut the moderators, which shows why the earlier NFL referee analogy fails, but Colbert agreed with Hayes, “That was delicious.”

Here is a transcript for the October 1 show:

CBS The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

10/1/2024

11:35 PM ET

ALEXIS MCADAMS: This debate, here in New York City, is going to be a little bit different. The CBS News team says that both candidates are going to have to fact-check each other so if there’s something they don’t like that they think the other team is saying, it’s their responsibility to do that, not the moderators.

NARRATOR: This weekend it’s the NFL on CBS. All your favorite hard-hitting gridiron action, but with a new twist. The players call penalties no now. Why let the competitors play by the rules when they could be enforcing them? Heck, why have rules at all? This is legal now. Maybe the players could do all the jobs. Screw it, they’re their own cameraman, too. Look, we’ll still keep the referees out there because sometimes they get knocked over and it’s pretty funny but they no longer have flags, whistles, or any ability to prevent absolute chaos. The NFL on CBS: we just hope both teams have fun.

…

11:44 PM ET

STEPHEN COLBERT: Then the conversation turned to reproductive rights. Tim Walz brought up Project 2025, leading to this question for Vance.

NORAH O’DONNELL: Senator, do you want to respond to the governor’s claim? Will you create a federal pregnancy monitoring agency?

COLBERT: “No, I’ll just monitor ’em myself. Starting with you two ladies. Margaret, Norah, when was the first day of your last time of impurity? And did you go outside the village to the moon hut and only return to the village after offering a turtle dove to the elders?” 

JD Vance, read your Leviticus, JD Vance went on a whole rigamarole trying to justify the overturning of Roe v. Wade.

JD VANCE: Do you want to force Catholic hospitals to perform abortions against their will? Because Kamala Harris has supported suing Catholic nuns to violate their freedom of conscience.

COLBERT: What are you talking about? Nuns don’t perform medical procedures. I know that! ‘Cause if they did, they’d be the stars of CBS’s latest medical drama, OBGY-NUN 

…

12:06 AM ET

CHRIS HAYES: This was more in the middle.

COLBERT: Okay.

HAYES: There was a lot I thought was interesting. I mean, I think that, look, Vance is a smooth talker and very, sort of, you know, he kind of relaxed and daffed in that kind of environment.

COLBERT: Sure.

HAYES: Walz was so clearly very nervous, which I always very endearing and human—

COLBERT: Sure.

HAYES: — when you hear that constriction in the throat. Kamala Harris’s first answer in the last debate was the same way, you could just hear it.

COLBERT: Sure.

…

COLBERT: Part of the rules were, wasn’t, you know, CBS’s idea, wasn’t any of the journalists’ idea—

HAYES: Right, right.

COLBERT: — but the rules where there could be no fact checks. 

HAYES: Correct.

COLBERT: Okay, what do you make of that rule? Do you think that’s the right way to go? And what would you have wanted to fact-check.

HAYES: Well, I would want to do that, but I’m not negotiating for the campaigns. I understand why the Trump-Vance people don’t want there to be fact checks. They like to say false stuff. 

COLBERT: Sure.

HAYES: And in fact, it’s not just incidental or accidental. They intentionally say false things. So, as to produce a sort of fear reaction in people they’re talking to. So, you know, that’s the reason to do it. There’s a few things, I will say I think your colleagues at CBS did a very good job on the exchange about immigration, where, as a point of clarification, they were just like, these people have legal status called temporary protected status. 

COLBERT: Right.

HAYES: JD Vance was like, “you said you wouldn’t fact-check me” and then started trying to bulldoze them and then they cut his mic, that moment that you just played.

COLBERT: That was delicious.

HAYES: That was pretty good. It’s funny to hear the mic go out [unintelligible].

COLBERT: It’s like the candidates are falling down a deep well.

HAYES: Exactly.