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Wedding planning is full of huge decisions for the couple about to be married, including the individuals that they’ll want with them at the altar when they exchange their vows and say “I do.” 

During a wedding, the bridesmaids and groomsmen typically stand with the couple during the ceremony. The officiant is responsible for conducting the ceremony from beginning to end. 

There are several different routes a couple could go when it comes to choosing an officiant. 

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They could choose a civil wedding officiant, such as a judge or justice of the peace, a religious officiant, such as a pastor or priest, or the couple could choose a professional officiant to lead their ceremony. 

A growing trend in the wedding industry is for couples to pick a close friend or family member to be the officiant at their wedding. 

Wedding ceremony with a picture of person signing marriage license

A family member or friend can officiate a wedding by becoming ordained online. (iStock)

For couples who choose this route, there are several steps the friend or family member needs to take in order to be able to take on this task. 

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Below are a few things to keep in mind when asked to officiate a wedding. 

  1. Check local government registration requirements
  2. Get ordained
  3. Plan accordingly
  4. Brush up on your public speaking
  5. Don’t forget the marriage license

1. Check local government registration requirements

Before anything else, it’s important to check state requirements to officiate a wedding.

Registration requirements vary from state to state, so you’ll want to properly conduct research on this far in advance so you don’t run into any trouble down the line. 

To gather basic information on state requirements, you can do an online search. 

A beach wedding ceremony

When going through the process of preparing to officiate a wedding, make sure to check state requirements. (iStock)

Reach out to the city clerk’s or county clerk’s office to find out more about the steps that are required of you. 

2. Get ordained

In order to officiate a wedding, you first must be ordained. 

In many states, the process of getting ordained is quite a simple one that requires just a few clicks online, a fee and a few days to process. 

Some states have one-day marriage officiant certification programs, ideal for family members and friends who wish to officiate a loved one’s wedding, but don’t plan on officiating others in the future. 

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To get ordained online, Universal Life Church and American Marriage Ministries are two popular places to check.

3. Plan accordingly

Being asked to officiate a wedding is a great honor. 

Make sure that you are giving the job the time and commitment it requires. 

As an officiant, you’ll want to meet with the couple several times before their big day to get an idea of how they want their wedding ceremony to go. 

A person writing in journal

You’ll need many months to prepare for the wedding ceremony. This includes meeting with the couple and understanding their wishes for the day. (iStock)

4. Brush up on your public speaking

During the actual ceremony, the wedding officiant must speak for a fairly long period of time in front of a large group of people. 

Before the big day comes, make yourself as comfortable as possible by brushing up on your public speaking skills. 

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Run through the ceremony often, and take the opportunity to practice in front of others if you can. 

5. Don’t forget the marriage license

The officiant is traditionally responsible for making sure the marriage license gets filed. 

The time at which a marriage license is valid depends on the state. 

For example, in Tennessee, it’s valid for 30 days from when it’s issued. 

In Massachusetts, that magic number is 60 days, while it’s 90 days in California.

Couple signing marriage license

As the officiant, ensure that the couple has obtained a wedding license in the proper time period. Additionally, make sure that the license gets properly filed after the ceremony. (iStock)

As the wedding officiant, look into the timeline in the state in which the couple chooses to wed, and remind them that this is something they need to get done. 

A marriage license is a document signed by both spouses, the officiant and witnesses in certain states, and legally permits a couple to be married.

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Typically, the officiant is responsible for ensuring that this document gets properly filed after the ceremony.