Medical Facility Sues LAPD Over Marijuana Raid That Goes Totally

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Did you ever have one of those days? You know. The kind where things start to suck before you even roll out of bed, and they cascade toward security escorting you off the premises before quitting time. One unit of the LAPD had just such a day in October 2023, and to ensure it wasn’t quite bad enough, I’m here to mock it.

The advent of a Cheech and Chong society has created a new problem for police departments: how to sort out legal marijuana enterprises from illegal ones. It isn’t always that easy to tell weed that has been thoroughly taxed from the libertarian, free market variety; see California police hand deliver $800K worth of cannabis to distributor after illegal raid (nypost.com).

For reasons that aren’t terribly clear, in September/October 2023, someone in the LAPD decided that the NoHo Diagnostics Center (NoHo could be either an abbreviation for North Hollywood or a warning that it doesn’t serve sex workers; reports don’t make this clear) was a cover for an illegal weed farm. They put a man on the case: LAPD Narcotics Officer Kenneth Franco, who pulls down about $160K per year in salary and overtime (I’m not giving a link, but it isn’t hard to find), went into hyperdrive.

22. As part of the application for the search warrant, OFFICER FRANCO stated that the Los Angeles Department of Building and Safety received a noise complaint about the air conditioning units, suggesting cannabis cultivation at the TARGET PREMISES.

23. OFFICER FRANCO conducted surveillance on multiple dates in 2023, reporting the “distinct odor of live cannabis plant and not the odor of dried cannabis being smoked,” tinted windows – which he attributed to efforts to conceal cannabis cultivation, security cameras –which he associated with locations where cannabis is grown to prevent theft, and two individuals in similar attire at the premises – whom he concluded were performing maintenance or expanding the cultivation operation.

24. OFFICER FRANCO compared the power usage of the TARGET PREMISES to nearby businesses and found it significantly higher.

25. OFFICER FRANCO, therefore, concluded that the TARGET PREMISES was cultivating cannabis, disregarding the fact that it is a diagnostic facility utilizing an MRI machine, X ray machine, and other heavy medical equipment—unlike the surrounding businesses selling flowers, chocolates, and childrens’ merchandise, none of which would require significant power usage.

…

30. Based on his 15 years as an LAPD officer and twelve hours of narcotics training, and based upon the presence of security cameras (typical of any reasonable commercial business), tinted windows (a reasonable practice for any medical facility concerned with patient privacy), high power usage (as any diagnostic facility), the alleged odor of cannabis plants (in a busy shopping plaza with no prior reports), the absence of a cultivation permit (which no diagnostic healthcare facility would possess), and the presence of two men wearing identical company-branded shirts (unexpected of individuals involved in illegal cultivation), OFFICER FRANCO found probable cause for cannabis cultivation at the TARGET PREMISES.

Twelve. Hours.

Officer Franco obtained a search warrant from Magistrate Diego H. Edberwas for the premises.

On October 18, all was ready, and an LAPD SWAT team arrived to do the deed.

Raiding the NoHo offices near closing time, the SWAT team found pretty much what they would have expected to find if they had ever checked with city licensing agencies: a single employee and an X-ray and MRI machine. They detained the employee and proceeded to rummage through offices that obviously did not contain either marijuana plants or processing equipment.

39. Considering the search yielded no live cannabis plants or any other contraband, and the detained employee had already been released, it was evident—or should have been—that any further action taken by the LAPD Officers would exceed the scope of the search warrant.

40. However, some LAPD Officers continued to roam freely throughout the TARGET PREMISES, casually engaging in conversation with one another. The whole operation was nothing short of a disorganized circus, with no apparent rules, procedures, or even a hint of coordination.

One would think that at this point, the cops would pack up their stuff, apologize to the traumatized employee, and slink away. But no, this is the LAPD in 2024.

41. At 5:01 PM, an LAPD Officer was observed standing in front of the MRI office door, reading the sign that read, “Warning. Magnetic Field. High Frequency Yield. Metal Parts and Medical Instruments of All Types prohibited.” Additionally, the warning sign displayed photographs of items prohibited in the room, which included scissors, screwdrivers, keys, watches, and credit cards.

I’ve had a few MRIs, and the safety checklist is fairly extensive. They want to know about dental implants, surgical pins, possible metal shavings embedded in your skin if you are a metal worker, and all sorts of things. And for very good reason.

42. The LAPD Officer then proceeded to the end of the hallway and returned a few seconds later with another LAPD Officer.

43. Said LAPD officer, dangling a rifle in his right hand, with an unsecured strap, approached the MRI Office, glanced at the large warning sign on the door, reopened the door with his left hand and proceeded inside.

44. Expectedly, the magnetic force of the MRI machine attracted the LAPD Officer’s loose rifle, securing it to the machine.

Wait, it gets better. With one SWAT team member’s firearm welded to the MRI machine, our heroes search for a way out. They can’t ask for help because the detained employee is a potential drug kingpin, and they don’t want to look stupid, but mostly because they don’t want to look stupid.

45. The MRI machine was equipped with a sealed emergency pull button labeled, “Caution, Emergency Use Only.” This button was intended to be activated solely in the event of a genuine emergency, such as a health risk to a patient inside the machine, a fire, or an evacuation situation.

46. Rather than seeking assistance from the on-site employee, or waiting for the manager’s arrival, one of the LAPD Officers made the unilateral decision to break the seal and activate the emergency shutdown button, deactivating the MRI machine.

What could go wrong?

47. This action caused the MRI’s magnet to rapidly lose superconductivity, leading to the evaporation of approximately 2000 liters of helium gas and resulting in extensive damage to the MRI machine.

We still haven’t achieved Humiliation_max.

48. The LAPD Officer then grabbed his rifle, this time wearing the strap over his shoulder as he should have when he entered the MRI room, and proceeded to walk toward the entrance, leaving the magazine full of bullets on the floor of the MRI office.

To take out of context Frederic March’s epic question tn The Bridges at Toko-Ri, “Where do we get such men?“

Anyway, the owner of NoHo Diagnostics is suing the LAPD for a violation of the Fourth Amendment, which would be misleading the magistrate about the nature of NoHo Diagnostics’s business. It is suing the now-retired police chief Michael Moore for “willful, wanton, malicious, and done with a reckless disregard for the rights of Plaintiffs,” and it is suing the city and all twenty officers involved in this fiasco for negligence.