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Check it, Fam. You know when you’re on the computer and go to a website about skateboarding and are hit with a pop-up about accepting cookies? You’re probably not even sure what they are, but you click “Accept” anyway so you can see those sweet 720s.

If you accept browser cookies you don’t even understand, why wouldn’t you accept Jesus, who you do understand? That’s right, Fam, Jesus is the ultimate browser cookie, one that gives you full unrestricted access to the Father through a spiritual website called “Heaven”. If you don’t accept this cookie, you’ll be redirected to hell.com and, let me tell you, it’s a gnarly web page made with GeoCities. It’s got animated gifs and is always under construction. It promises cool features, but nothing new ever comes to hell.com.

And Jesus’ cookie doesn’t come with fine print that signs your rights away. He won’t give you a confusing list of terms and conditions you can’t understand. He gives you the Bible and His instructions are clear. Accept all His cookies and you shall be saved.

But let me be serious for a moment here, Fam. Someone else is also sending you cookies: the devil. He wants to trick you into accepting so that you can go to whatever web pages you want. He promises freedom but delivers computer viruses (temptation) that lead to stolen data (sin). Don’t accept those cookies. You only need one cookie, and it’s from Jesus.

Remember the Samaritan woman at the well? It’s a story that ends with Jesus saying, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who is saying to you, ‘Give Me a drink,’ you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water.” Fam, I’m here to tell you today, if you ask Jesus for His browser cookie you will never have to accept another browser cookie again.

Jesus wants you to accept his cookies. Not into your computer, into your heart.

And that’s the real deal.

BIG NEWS: We made a movie, and you can watch the trailer NOW:


Click here to find out how you can watch the movie when it releases on October 11