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WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a moving display of compassion, Vice President Kamal Harris today solemnly placed a “Joy” sticker on the tomb of a Marine who was killed during the U.S. exit from Afghanistan.

The Democratic candidate for president stood in hushed silence in front of the tomb for several seconds before stepping up to place the “Joy” decal on the wreath to commemorate his sacrifice.

“This sorrow is a joyful moment,” Harris said to reporters following the ceremony. “In sorrow, we find joy. Joy is happiness. When we are happy, we have joy. And having joy is very joyous for those who have it. This is America. And America is joy.”

“HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! JOY!”

Political analysts were quick to point out that while Harris was Vice President during the universally criticized withdrawal from Afghanistan in 2021, she is now a candidate of joy. “She produces joy everywhere she goes,” said one commentator. “Where there is Kamala, there is Joy — even here as we mourn those who died during the perfect and flawless withdrawal from Afghanistan!”

“Vote for joy!”

At publishing time, Harris campaign staffers asked the media present at the ceremony not to air any footage of the vice president dancing and cackling while speaking to the dead soldier’s family.

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