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WASHINGTON, D.C. — Photographers from National Geographic reportedly set up camp outside the White House in hopes of catching a rare glimpse of the elusive Joe Biden.

“This is the right time of year, he should be here,” expert photographer Jim Addy said, refusing to take his eye away from the viewfinder of his telescopic lens. “It’s election season, it’s sure to lure him out… even if it is for that other one.”

While it’s said that a picture tells a thousand words, the photographers took that very seriously. What is Joe Biden’s natural habitat? Does his diet consist of anything other than ice cream? Can he make decisions on his own or is he more like a tree and just sits there until moved by another force? These are the questions National Geographic was hoping to answer with a stunning photograph that, if they were able to capture it, could earn the magazine yet another award and propel the career of the photographer to new heights.

“We all want the glory of capturing Joe Biden on film,” Stephen Campbell, another photographer, said as his hands expertly adjusted the aperture on his DSLR camera to keep up with changing lighting conditions. “But we have to be realistic. Joe Biden isn’t just rare, he’s nearly extinct. We have to get his picture before it’s too late.”

At night, NatGeo photographers had been sharing stories by the campfire about Vice President Kamala Harris, who approached the photographers several times with offers to pose for an exclusive cover shoot in exchange for having a fluff piece written about her ethnic roots. She has been flatly refused several times.

“People can tell the difference between a posed subject and one caught in its natural habitat,” Addy explained. “I’m here for the real deal, not some fabrication. Kamala is fake news.”

At publishing time, Joe Biden accidentally boarded a train he mistook for Air Force One, causing National Geographic to miss their chance again. “He’s so unpredictable!” Jim Addy said, marveling.

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