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WASHINGTON, D.C. — Presidential candidate Kamala Harris distanced herself from Kamala Harris after members of the press confronted her with questions about her past.

“I am not now nor have I ever been Kamala Harris,” Kamala Harris replied. “I have no knowledge of Kamala Harris and I can assure you Kamala Harris has never been a part of who I am. Any claims to the contrary are sexist and racist.”

Following Kamala Harris’s statement, news outlets were quick to condemn anyone who has ever referred to Kamala Harris as Kamala Harris. “As usual, the Republicans are engaging in a misinformation campaign to tarnish the image of the Vice President,” Joe Scarborough said. “We all know Kamala Harris has never been Kamala Harris. Will their lies never cease!?”

Wikipedia updated its entry on Kamala Harris to wipe any previous mention of the presidential candidate’s name and Politifact rated the statement “Kamala Harris is Kamala Harris” as a ‘Pants On Fire’ lie.

At publishing time, Kamala Harris also denied ever having been Joe Biden’s Vice President or the Attorney General of California, points quickly corroborated by the mainstream media.

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