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King Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes, “It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, because that is the end of every man, and the living takes it to heart.” Whatever your feelings on former President Jimmy Carter, there were some deep and profound moments during his funeral service Thursday. One of those moments is the eulogy to Carter by former President Gerald Ford. It is worth the time to find the video, and it has salient points that one can take to heart. The first point is the powerful bond of friendship which transcends political or personal differences. 

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For those not familiar with these two presidents’ story, it went beyond a 1976 election and an epic loss by Ford. Carter and Ford became friends after that election, and made a promise to each other to eulogize one another at their forthcoming funerals. Ford died in 2006, and the long-lived Carter was alive to be able to keep his promise to his friend. But Ford’s eulogy was delivered posthumously, through the voice and appearance of his son Steven Ford.

This is not the story of political rivals, but of two men who learned from each other, in some ways leaned on each other, and who kept their vows to each other. In our inconsistent and too often faithless world, that is a powerful testament. 

My colleague Becky Noble had to remind me that Steve Ford is the actor who played “Joe,” in one of our favorite movies: “When Harry Met Sally.” Ford is now much older, grayed, receded hairline, and he wears glasses. But beyond his successful, supporting actor career in Hollywood, Ford chose to use his gifts to honor his father and the Carter family. Ford ably employed his oratory and presentation skills well in articulating his father’s thoughts. But what wasn’t professional training were his sincere and heartfelt compassion extended toward the Carter family over Pres. Carter’s death, the dignify and gravity he exhibited as he delivered his father’s words, and the smiles and connection to his memories of Carter and his father.

Steve Ford started with a big sigh, signifying the weight of the moment he was in: honoring a former president with the words of another former president, along with the ponderosity of his own words of condolence and gratitude to the Carter family.

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[SIGH] 

Before I start, the Carter children, my wife and I were sitting several rows behind you, and we were praying for you. And I was humbly reminded that it was 18 years ago, almost to the day, that our family sat in that very row and supporting my mom, and it was your dad and his great faith that supported my mom and gave her hope. He traveled with us for several days and we were blessed, so, thank you.

Ford then offered the appropriate recognition and greetings to the three branches of government represented in the Washington Cathedral, before he explained how Presidents Ford and Carter made the commitment to eulogize one another, and how Carter’s words at his father’s funeral still had an impact.

In the twilight of my dad’s life, dad and President Carter spoke by phone, and dad asked President Carter if he would do a eulogy at dad’s funeral. President Carter graciously agreed and then he also asked if dad would deliver a eulogy at President Carter’s funeral. Now, dad was thrilled to agree. After that call, as you can imagine, both of them got off the phone and had a pretty good chuckle, considering which one of them would return, in person, to deliver that second eulogy.

As you know, dad died in 2006. And President Carter’s eulogy continues to bring comfort, smile, laughter, joy, pride to our family. And thus, on behalf of my Dad, it’s an honor to share Dad’s eulogy to his old friend.

I can just see my dad getting his yellow legal pad out with his pen and writing this for his beloved friend.

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What a sweet segue into President Gerald Ford’s words, but also a second point to be taken to heart: Steve Ford honored his father’s wishes and honored his family legacy. Our nation has become so far removed from this, and we see how dishonoring both has turned out from our highest office down to the lowest pauper. It’s not pretty, and Steve Ford’s act reminded us of the beauty and the bounty in it.

Ford then delved into the eulogy his father prepared for his beloved friend.

By fate, of a brief season, Jimmy Carter and I were rivals. But for the many wonderful years that followed, friendship bonded us as no two presidents since John Adams and Thomas Jefferson. It is said that President Adams’ last words were “Thomas Jefferson still survives.” Now, since Jimmy has a good decade on me, I’m hedging my bets by entrusting my remembrances of Jimmy to my son Steve. 

According to a map, it’s a long way between Grand Rapids, Michigan and Plains, Georgia. But distances have a way of vanishing when measured in values, rather than miles. And it was because of our shared values, that Jimmy and I respected each other as adversaries even before we cherished one another as friends. 

Now, this is not to say that Jimmy never got under my skin. But has there ever been a group of politicians who didn’t do that to one another?

During our 1976 contest, Jimmy knew my political vulnerabilities, and he successfully pointed them out. Now I didn’t like it, but little could I know that the outcome of that 1976 election would bring about one of my deepest and most enduring friendships.

That part of President Ford’s words, “It was because of our shared values that Jimmy and I respected each other as adversaries even before we cherished one another as friends,” is something that would be extremely hard today. Solid values mean less in politics than they do anywhere else and looking at the row of former, current, and soon-to-be presidents, any values shared between them are questionable. If you look at the clips or pictures from the Carter funeral, it gives us glimpses of the very thin line between love and hate, and who fails at the minimum decorum that used to be a standard part of these functionary gatherings.

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President-elect Donald Trump was there with soon-to-be First Lady Melania Trump. His former Vice President Mike Pence barely wanted to shake his hand; former Vice President Al Gore was more cordial. But his wife Karen Pence appeared to be exceptionally rude to him, not even acknowledging his presence, and to Melania. Former President Barack Obama came alone. It was reported that Michelle Obama had a scheduling conflict in Hawaii, so she did not come. Whether this is true or not, Mrs. Obama probably had no desire to brave the cold just to sit next to “literal Hitler” at a long funeral. 

To much surprise, former President Obama yucked it up with Trump, whether for the cameras or to fluff his flagging reputation remains to be seen. However, he tacitly ignored Vice President Kamala Harris, the candidate for whom he endorsed and campaigned. And a bartender could have made drinks for the whole cathedral with the ice block between the president and co-president, Joe and Jill Biden, and Harris. As we have seen over the past four years and the 2024 election, elections are no longer contests of better ideas like that 1976 one between Ford and Carter; and the other side is not just an opposing candidate, but an existential threat to democracy.

Presidents Ford and Carter reflected the power of moving beyond political differences into a true friendship. Steve Ford delved into how that happened, and this third point was probably the most instructive in Ford’s eulogy to Carter. 

In the Summer of 1981, the two of us found ourselves together again. This time aboard Air Force One bound for the funeral of the great peacemaker Anwar Sadat.

There’s a old line to the affect that, “Two presidents in a room is one too many.” 

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If you see the video on C-SPAN, it does a wonderful job of capturing reactions. Biden’s brain was engaged enough that he smiled and laughed a bit. Jill was stone-faced. 

The funniest reaction: Second Gentleman Doug Emhoff turned around to look behind him at the presidents’ pew, smiling. Harris reacted with what appeared to be genuine laughter, and not that phony, overly-practiced cackle that we were usually forced to hear.

Bill Clinton looked dumbfounded, as if he was not quite getting the joke, then it hit and he cracked a smile. That’s typical of Clinton since he gets along with everybody, which is why he is still considered the gold standard of politicians. 

The most telling reaction: Hillary Clinton was nodding in agreement.

George and Laura Bush laughed, Obama smiled, and Trump smiled. Melania was beautiful and composed, as she always is.  

Ford continued with his father’s words.

Frankly, I wondered how awkward that long flight might be to Cairo, and it was a long flight, but the return trip was not nearly long enough. For it was somewhere over the Atlantic, that Jimmy and I forged a friendship that transcends politics. We immediately decided to exercise one of the privileges of a former president: Forgetting that either one of us had ever said any harsh words about the other one in the heat of battle.

Then we got on to much more enjoyable subjects, discussing our families, our faith, and sharing our experiences and discovering that there is indeed life after the White House.

Sadly, save for former President George Bush and President-elect Trump, the rest of the presidents have exhibited little desire to live a life after the White House. Clinton kept trying to wend a path back through Hillary, Obama has one of his houses in Washington, D.C., and has used his tentacles to run a shadow presidency. And we well know that the Bidens are not looking forward to a permanent vacation in Delaware. 

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This highlights the fourth point President Gerald Ford gave us to consider: accomplished humans live accomplished lives and strive for the future, rather than remain attached to past glories. 

Steve Ford unfolded the rest of Gerald Ford’s well-crafted and heartfelt eulogy, pointing out Carter’s accomplishments and goals after the White House, as well as his legacy of faith and family with his love Rosalynn Carter and their children and grandchildren. Ford completed his father’s words on a priceless and poignant note. 

Now is the time to say goodbye. Our grief comforted with the joy and the thanksgiving of knowing this man, this beloved man, this very special man. He was given the gift of years, and the American people and the people of the world will be forever blessed by his decades of good works. Jimmy Carter’s legacy of peace and compassion will remain as unique as it is timeless.

The entire Ford family, we extend our love to you. And we add our prayers to the prayers of tens of millions of people around the world. May God Bless and watch over this good man. May he grant peace to the Carter family, as they say goodbye to a man whose life was lived to the fullest, with a faith demonstrated in countless good works, with a mission richly fulfilled, and a soul rewarded with everlasting life.

As for myself, Jimmy: I’m looking forward to our reunion. We have much to catch up on. Thank you, Mr. President. Welcome home, old friend.

The fifth and final point Gerald Ford left us to ponder: politics is temporary, but friendship and a relationship with God is eternal.

Here’s the full eulogy.

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