Abbie Stockard Goes From Auburn Cheerleader To Miss America, Amon-Ra St.

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All of my attention has officially turned to the Detroit Lions winning the Super Bowl

Maybe, next year, MY Bengals will take September seriously instead of acting like it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Do you know who went 3-1 in September and now have the No. 1 seed in the NFC?

MY DETROIT LIONS. YOUR Detroit Lions. OUR Detroit Lions.

I sat there last night with 12-year-old Screencaps Jr., who is openly living as a Lions fan, and it hit me: This might be the first NFL game he remembers for the rest of his life.

Yes, he’s a Bengals fan by birth, but we live just an hour from Detroit. The news talks about the Lions. Stores sell Lions gear. Grocery stores sell Lions cookies. Grown men walk around town wearing Lions jerseys.

Our family friend is the Ford Field in-game host. When the kids were little, the family friend got them a Lions football where a man’s voice tells the kids to “Restore the Roar” when they throw it against a wall.

No, I will not be purchasing Divisional Round playoff tickets for Jr. I checked this morning and the get-in price is $700.

We’ll gladly let those who’ve been waiting to see this their whole lives pay up.

Are there any former NFL refs who read Screencaps?

This is one thing I’ve started to notice and then it played a big role in Saturday’s Bengals game. It’s starting to feel like the days of bringing out the chain gang for a measurement are over. I can’t be the only one trying to figure out the last time I saw a measurement.

Was there some sort of speed up the game ruling that I missed?

The Cleveland Browns are right back where they belong

The NFL Draft is so much better when Browns fans are trying to figure out which QB to draft. By the way, mark your calendars, the Draft is at Lambeau Field in April.

As fans of chaos, let’s root for the Browns to settle on Shedeur Sanders just to see how Deion reacts and what he pulls in order to prevent the Browns from getting their hands on his son.

Why do I feel like the apartments over Costco thing isn’t new and was first proposed in like 2022?

I’d also like to know why this Andrew Lokenauth guy constantly shows up in my Instagram stream as a Threads expert on finance. This guy just constantly tells you how big of a loser you are if you don’t invest $10k a month. I’m also 99.5% positive Andrew is a bot.

He’s always telling us how to live and yet he can’t show us his family on Instagram?

Very suspect.

By the way, there’s no way I’d live over a Costco. No yard. No deal.

Uno No Mercy

— Duncan writes:

We’ve been playing all sorts of Uno since my kids were old enough – Uno flip is our favorite. But for Christmas my sister gave us Uno no mercy – it has +10 cards! My son won the first game because all the adults had 25 cards. You get 25 cards and you’re kicked out! Sounds like your family would enjoy it.

Kinsey:

Done. Just purchased it. We’ll get it Tuesday.

#notsponsored

By the way, we went duckpin bowling on Saturday and Screecaps Jr. whipped me in two games. He even rolled a strike before I could. In his second game, he had two strikes and ended up with a 101.

From everything I know, it’s an accomplishment to break 100 in duckpin.

My days of beating up on the kids in these dad sports are coming to an end.

Screencaps Chefs®

– Travel Ball Hardo Chris B. in Houston was cooking over the weekend. He says this is Spanko crusted quail:

Served with a buffalo sauce (not shown). These little birds are soooo easy to over cook and F them up. Baking for 15 makes both the little wingies and the breasts delish!

Vintage Pizza Huts in the Wild where golf trips were born

— RJM writes:

This is where it all started for me…Golf trips! (The Pizza Hut buffet for lunch) I was 21 meeting some golf trip “veterans” for lunch as I entered the workforce and starting a career. They were 25-26ish and been on a couple trips as the “who are these guys” people.

At this Pizza Hut buffet, we started a tradition for “our people.” Our trip! 23 years later the Ol Pizza Hut is now an amazing Chipotle/Qdoba style Mexican Subway…(Chavas) but SOB, local is better. Fresh!

They aren’t much on landscaping, ironically, but the burritos are the best! But as the guy that organizes the golf trip for the last 5-6 years, I’ll never forget where it started. Old school Pizza Hut…Screw water! Pitchers of coke for lunch!

Another point of interest, maybe. I’m 44, 1980 baby! All we drank was soda growing up. Surely u can get a conversation out of that on the Screencaps. Big Slam Pepsis and Mt Dew? Quick slams!?!? Peak marketing!

Cig machines from around the world

— Mike T. knows the oddities I’m looking for from around the world and today he found one in Lagos, Portugal:

Haven’t seen a cigarette machine like this in many many years. Old school

— Jon H. reacts to Mike T.’s beer store photo from Saturday:

Unlike George Costanza, I don’t speak Portuguese. But I’m guessing Sagrese is Portuguese for Bud Light?

Who Dey!

Screencaps readers who live the farthest from McDonald’s

I feel like this could end up being a fun challenge. Remember, Dillion in Crosby, ND is 66 miles from the nearest U.S.-based McDonald’s. There might actually be one closer in Canada.

— Paul in Plentywood, MT writes in:

I’ve been reading Screencaps for about 6 months and have been tempted to write in, but after today’s column I knew it was my time.

I live in Plentywood, MT, which is about 60 miles West of Crosby, ND (shout out to Dillon from North Dakota; we’ll have to grab a beer sometime since we’re damn near neighbors). The temp when I woke up this morning and sat down to read Screencaps was 10…below zero. Our nearest McDonald’s (and OB-GYN) is also in Williston, ND which is about 90 miles away.

A while ago you asked how far someone had to travel to deliver their kid. Our daughter was born in February 2013 and at that time Williston was in the middle of a massive oil boom. We called when we found out my wife was expecting, but the OB docs were not taking any more patients due to the massive influx of oilfield workers and families.

Our next closest option was in Glasgow, MT, which is 150 miles from here. My wife went into labor during the middle of a snowstorm, and we hopped in the pickup to get there as quickly as possible. Turns out it was a false labor, and we drove home the next day. A week later, my daughter was born and spent 5 days in the hospital with jaundice. A friend came to visit on day 3 and bootlegged a flask of bourbon in for me. That was probably the best drink I’ve ever had: sitting in the hospital room, holding my newborn daughter while my wife slept and sipping a bourbon from a plastic cup.

I’ll be living and dying with my Montana State Bobcats on Monday in the FCS Championship game. I smoked a brisket this year for the game vs. our rival (U of MT Grizzlies). Had to get it on at 3:13 AM to make sure it was done in time (turned out perfect). The Cats won that game and hopefully they get one more to win their first natty since 1984! Keep up the great work!

Kinsey:

I knew this challenge would be a great way to open up new frontiers to Screencaps. I never would’ve looked up Plentywood, Montana on a map if it wasn’t for Paul’s email.

I did learn that Plentywood has a Dairy Queen and a casino. That’s like New York City compared to Crosby, ND. Dillon and the North Dakota Boys might need to head west to do a Screencaps meet-up with Paul. After all, it’s just 60 miles to go visit their Dairy Queen!

— Jeff B. wants in on this challenge:

From Campo, Colorado, the closest McDonald’s is in Lamar, Colorado… Just shy of 70 miles.

The second closest is 92 miles.

Screencaps Readers Who Live The Farthest From Nearest McDonald’s Leaderboard:

Paul in Plentywood — 90 miles
Jeff B. in Campo, CO — 70 miles
Dillion & the Crosby, ND Gang — 66 miles

Should you be on the leaderboard?

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

The Best Fried Chicken in the World

— Gerard makes a big declaration:

Just off interstate 80 you will find the best fried chicken in the world at Rip’s in Ladd Illinois. Be prepared to wait in line an hour to be served fried chicken on a paper plate with no silverware in sight. (Maybe drinking a few beers while in line makes it the best…). You are given a free appetizer of dill pickles and “Krispies”. Make sure to dunk the pickles in ketchup to lap up those delicious “Krispies”.

They have been serving the exact same chicken since 1936. There is no menu as you can only get light, dark or strips. 5 of us made the hour drive last night and as you can see by the cost, it was well worth it.

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That’s it for this cold January morning with all of America back to work. It’s the final day of the kids’ winter break, so they better soak it all in before the long grind to May.

Let’s go get after it and make 2025 a great year. Good luck getting back to work after slacking for weeks. No complaining about being tired!

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com