Jennifer Lopez Updates Her Tinder Profile In A Bikini, Sydney Sweeney On A

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The Libs let us get to another Friday! It’s a new year, and they STILL let us get here. IDIOTS! Let’s make them pay.

Welcome to a Friday Nightcaps – the one where we battle the elements in a bikini with Jennifer Lopez, and then hop on a jet-ski with Sydney Sweeney when all else fails.

Sound good? GOOD!

What else? I’ve got the best of the rest from a big week of #content, ESPN waiting 42 seconds to play the race card ahead of next week’s college football semifinals, the Allstate PR team working the phones HARD this morning and Lane and Landry Kiffin dominating the headlines Thursday night.

See? Told you the Rebs should’ve been in the playoffs! (Relax, it’s a joke. Sort of)

Grab you something tall & strong, and settle in for a frenetic first-Friday-of-2025 ‘Cap.

Let’s ROLL!

What a choice here from Allstate!

I’m in a particularly annoyed mood today for whatever reason – perhaps it’s because I was up all night with a sick toddler, who chose to interrupt what appeared to be a good night for me last night (you parents out there can piece together that puzzle).

Whatever the reason (yep, it’s definitely that one), I’m out for blood today. And I ain’t alone! Did anyone see this gem from the Allstate CEO during the Sugar Bowl last night?

Incredible:

Just incredible. But, of course, also predictable.

We love DEI in this country. We love virtue-signaling. We love gaslighting. And, above all, we love catering to the woke minority over the sane majority.

Amazing fumble here from Allstate, a company I actually used to work for back in the day as a high school baseball player looking for an offseason office job.

ISIS was responsible for murdering dozens of Americans in cold blood, but we all need to come together and unify to make things better!

That’s the message they sent, loud and clear. Of course, they tried to walk it back this morning with an equally dumb statement, given to Fox News Digital:

“To be clear, Allstate CEO Tom Wilson unequivocally condemns this heinous act of terrorism and violence in all forms. We stand with the families of the victims, their loved ones and the community of New Orleans. The reference to overcoming divisiveness and negativity reflects a broader commitment to fostering trust and positivity in communities across the nation.”

Huh? WHAT? You could have just stopped at the first part, and you may have been OK. But nope. They had to dive back into the woke nonsense and try to explain that in order to stop these terrorist attacks, we MUST commit to fostering trust and positivity within our communities.

Makes sense. Nothing will stop these disgusting POS terrorists like a positive community.

Okeedokee, Allstate! 10-4.

Nightcaps now stands with Jake, from State Farm.

What a week of #content!

Jake gets it. And, of course, we’re also #TeamCharissa around here. That’s how you sell insurance, boys and girls.

Take notes, Allstate. Good hands my ASS.

OK, let’s get to the best #content from the week that I saved in my Twitter bookmarks and didn’t have time to get to.

Lead us off, Landry and Lane!

Sid the Kid, Hooters Gianna, & ESPN is THRILLED

Couple things …

1. Any readers out there play at any of those above golf courses? The closest I’ve come is Sankaty in Nantucket. Haven’t played, but my dad has.

He also has a house so close to the course you can see the lighthouse out his bedroom window. Needless to say, he did NOT work in the journalism industry.

2. Could you imagine a worse hell than being at a table with those five late-night hosts? My God. I’d rather work for the Allstate PR team today!

3. Welcome back, Anthony Farris! After a brief sabbatical, AF is back at OutKick. It’s sort of like at the end of Mrs. Doubtfire when the kids realize Robin Williams is their permanent babysitter. Chills:

Gets me every time. God, I miss Robin. Glad I don’t have to miss Anthony anymore. Welcome back, dad.

OK, rapid-fire time on this first Friday of 2025. First up? Sid the Kid is off to a STRONG start this year:

Sydney Sweeney AND Hooters Gianna Tulio ending the year together? My God. What a collab. If that’s how those two ended 2024, and I can’t wait to see how they start 2025.

We’re in for a massive year of #content on this front. Strap in and hold on for dear life.

Next? Anyone wanna check in on the comments on this ESPN post for me?

Good lord. So predictable. Incredible ratio, too. God forbid ESPN just leaves the race-card at home for one day. Notre Dame-Penn State is gonna be electric. Two great teams (should be ‘Bama, though!). High stakes. Spot in the title game on the line.

And ESPN is already gearing up for a black coach to advance to the championship, which is, of course, all society is thinking about, too!

Can’t you tell?

No, you weren’t the only ones thinking it, either. Trust me. Half the comments are pretty much that last one. Had no idea – but ESPN surely did! Shocking.

Like clockwork, folks. Every. Single. Time.