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Dust off those red MAGA hats and polish ‘em up, because it’s 2025 and that means Donald J. Trump is about to retake the White House. 

What? You don’t have one? Hogwash! Isn’t that what ‘mandate’ means? That everyone secretly owns one in their closet, ready to break it out at a moment’s notice if folks get a little too rambunctious? 

No? Just me? Okeedokee!

Anyway, for those of you who don’t own one, I’ve got some great news for you … MAGA hats are OUT, and these new bad boys that Trump debuted earlier this week while playing 18 with JD Vance are very much IN. 

Trump Was Right About Everything!

Wear this bad boy at the next family dinner! 

Hilarious. If you thought your old MAGA hat triggered your liberal Aunt Karen, just wait until you wear this bad boy to Easter dinner here in a few months. Electric. I can’t wait. 

Such a spot-on hat from Trump. It’s perfect. The guy has been on such a heater over the past few months it’s actually insane. We’re doing so much damn winning right now, you almost forget that he hasn’t even started his term yet. 

Just imagine the carnage we’re about to witness when he actually does. We’ll finally have grown-ups back in the White House. It’s gonna be such a jolt to the system. I truly don’t see how the Libs are gonna make it this time around. 

They’re just all gonna collectively faint from the stress. Gonna be too much to handle. Sad. 

And now we get these brand-new hats to wear to boot? What a way to start the first weekend of 2025! Let’s go have a big one, boys and girls. 

And in case you run into a mouthy Lib on the street later tonight, make sure you let them know who was always right! 

PS: JD Vance looks like someone who shoots 100 on his best day, and constantly says “close enough” even though he’s 15 feet out. Love that.