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Let me help since many of you need to start figuring out what day it is: Thursday, January 2nd, 2025. Your kids might need to go back to school today. If you haven’t given up on your New Year’s resolutions yet, make sure you get to the gym early. And to ease you into needing a return to reality, here’s comedian Whitney Cummings slapping around CNN.

While she was on CNN.

And unlike Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen, I’m fairly certain Cummings was sober.

She was brought on to do a roast, which has become a trendy thing to do ever since the Tom Brady Roast (where Nikki Glaser’s CTE joke almost killed me). Since “roasts” are so hot right now, people who don’t understand the medium bring roast comics in for a performance. Then regret it when they realize, “Wait, I didn’t mean roast ME.”

I haven’t scanned the X-Twitters yet, but I’m sure people are accusing Whitney of spreading dangerous misinformation with the Pfizer joke. Though it’s open season on Biden and Kamala now that the media no longer need to drag them across the finish line.

Here’s my question, and it’s one I ask every year. Why is there a CNN New Year’s Eve special? Like, who is the audience for it?

New Year’s Eve “specials” are only on television so that everyone knows when the ball drops. No one “watches” them. When you have other specials that feature live music, who the hell is choosing CNN? Especially when less and less people watch the journalisming networks the other 364 days.

Mayhaps I’ll get an answer next year, when I’m again reminded that CNN does this when the internets is busy roasting them for it.

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Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn’t writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.

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