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A mysterious piece of space junk has plummeted to Earth in Kenya, and it goes to show one getting beaned by space junk is one of the many weird little phobias that has taken up residence in the back of my brain.

I believe it sits somewhere between getting abducted by circus clowns who then harvest my organs and sell them on the black market and having seaweed touch my foot at the beach.

According to Metro, on December 30, a two-meter-in-diameter piece of debris crashed to earth with a loud bang in Mukuku, Makueni county; which I’m sure I don’t need to tell you, sits between the Kenyan capital of Nairobi and the city of Mombasa, which sits on the coast, but I will just so that we’re all on the same page.

Video of the giant piece of metal began making the rounds on social media.

As you’d expect, this freaked out the villagers, with some concerned that the debris could have just as easily fallen on their homes.

I’m with them. We don’t talk enough about how things can just fall out of orbit and crash to Earth and there’s not really a whole heck of a lot we can do about it.

I’m trying to be a bit more of a “go with the flow” kind of guy in 2025, but I draw the line at space junk.

I think what scares me the most is I know that if I got hit by some, it would be while I was doing something super mundane. I’d be fumbling with my car keys at the grocery store or crouching down to pick up some dog poop, then next thing you know — BLAM! — Ol’ Mattski is flattened by a cosmic waffle iron.

However, if space junk took me out while I was doing something cool, I could live with it (no pun intended). If I was nailing a skateboard trick or was breakdancing on a fresh slab of cardboard and a satellite fell out of orbit and crushed me, I wouldn’t be happy about it, but it’s not the worst way to go.

Unfortunately, I don’t spend much time skateboarding or breakdancing, but I might need to do a bit more of it if space junk starts falling more frequently.