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It’s been three months since the music mogul and rapper Sean “Diddy” Combs, 55, was arrested and charged with human trafficking and racketeering. If convicted on all charges, Diddy is facing fifteen years to life in prison.

Diddy has been denied bail multiple times as an inmate at the Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn, where he’s been jailed since September.

Last week, Diddy spent the first of what could be many Christmases behind bars. Now, it’s been revealed that this triggered a post-Christmas “meltdown” in jail for the disgraced former music star. This meltdown reportedly happened because Diddy can’t believe he’s still behind bars at the notorious facility, which has been described as being “hell on earth.”

Diddy’s Alleged Meltdown

On the day after Christmas, Diddy allegedly begged guards to be taken to a prison hospital for observation because he thought he was having a breakdown. When the guards refused his request, he began to lose it even more, according to a source close to Diddy.

“With his high powered legal team Diddy thought he’d be out on bail by now,” the insider told Daily Mail. “Spending the holidays behind bars was a nightmare for him.”

“He eventually managed to calm himself down with the meditation technique he’s been using while he’s been behind bars,” the source continued. “It took him a few hours of deep breathing and focusing to get out of the bad space he was in, but he finally managed it.”

Related: How Will Diddy Will Be Spending Christmas In Prison? For Starters, Inmates Get a ‘Holiday Bag’

Diddy Is ‘Astonishingly Thinner’

It was previously reported that Diddy was preparing for a “bleak” Christmas in jail. It’s been claimed that Diddy is “astonishingly thinner” and “grayer” after spending months behind bars. This is allegedly because he’s been refusing meals due to fears that he could be poisoned.

“When he first got there, this is kind of normal because you’re going through this transition and you’re depressed,” prison expert Larry Levine told The Mail earlier this month. “You don’t know what’s going to happen.”

Levine went on to say that Diddy potentially has incriminating information “on a lot of people.”

“He does get a lot of people in trouble. People want to kill him,” Levine explained. “So what if somebody on the outside knew someone that had a relative that worked in the prison and they put something in his food?”

“A little bit at a time, then he gets poisoned, whatever it is, and it’s early checkout for Mr. Puff Daddy. They kill him,” Levine continued. “That’s another reason, another theory as to why he wasn’t eating. He was afraid the food was poisoned or contaminated.”

Related: Here’s How Diddy Will Be Celebrating Thanksgiving In Jail

What Christmas Is Like For Diddy In Jail

Levine also revealed what Christmas is like for Diddy and his fellow inmates at the Metropolitan Detention Center. He said that they all receive a “Christmas or holiday sack” that includes goodies like cookies, potato chips and candy. This goodie bag has become smaller in recent years, however.

“It’s plastic and it’s almost like a big pillow and over the years it has shrunk,” Levine said.

“It’s a bunch of [expletive] that probably was purchased because it was out of date because the prison system sells you out of date stuff. And they’re trying to act like they’re doing the inmates a favor,” he added. “I’m sure they’ll give him something, but other than this mediocre holiday bag, there’s not much more he’s going to get.”

Needless to say, this was quite a different Christmas for Diddy compared to the lavish way typically celebrates the holiday. As of this writing, Diddy is set to remain behind bars until his trial begins in May. Unfortunately for Diddy, it seems that he has a long and difficult couple of months ahead of him!