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There are few people more deserving of ridicule than unironic influencers. It’s pronounced “in-flu-ence-rrrrrrrrrr” as if you are a valley girl from the 80s. So when there is a dispute in a park between an old man sitting on a bench and an in-flu-ence-rrrrrrrrrr carrying on about her live stream, the old man is always in the right.

The low-key best part about the video is how ridiculous some of the words said online sound when part of an IRL conversation.

The dispute can best be summarized with the in-flu-ence-rrrrrrrrrr being all “but muh live stream” and the old man being all “piss on your live stream.” That was the old man’s bench. He sits on it every day and he was going to sit on it that day. When the in-flu-ence-rrrrrrrrrrs and the followers and the whole internet tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the in-flu-ence-rrrrrrrrrrs — “No, you move.”

The in-flu-ence-rrrrrrrrrr kept carrying on about her followers and how she was trying to film a nice fitness video for her followers and how her followers didn’t want to see an old man sitting on a park bench. Her followers want to see HER. At this point, the man ended the argument.

Your followers. Oh, are you Jesus now, are you?

Sorry, I take it back. The man only mostly ended the argument. This was the mic drop after the in-flu-ence-rrrrrrrrrr whined that it wasn’t fair.

Are you from that snow flake brigade, are you?

Boom. After three rounds, the old man is declared the winner by TKO. The in-flu-ence-rrrrrrrrrr goes on to join our gallery of self-professed social media influencers getting their comeuppance content. The old man got to rest his legs.

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Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn’t writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.

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