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Being an election year, 2024 gave the late night comedians an extra incentive to pile on the liberal advocacy. However, there was more to 2024 than just the presidential election, so from the Supreme Court to foreign affairs to the election and everything in-between, here is a David Letterman-style top ten list of the worst moments from the past year from the late night comedy shows.
10. Jon Stewart, The Daily Show, Comedy Central, September 23 on Israel and Hezbollah
“We’ve been working tirelessly for a ceasefire in Gaza and then [bleep] Lebanon? The whole point was we’re going to downgrade Hamas, we’re going to attack the terrorists there, we’re going to get the hostages home. What did Lebanon do?”
9. John Oliver, Last Week Tonight, HBO, February 18 on Clarence Thomas
“So, I guess this might be the perfect way to find out who your real friends actually are. So that’s the offer. A million dollars a year, Clarence, and a brand new condo on wheels, and all you have to do in return is sign the contract and get the fuck off the Supreme Court.”
“And before anyone asks, yes, I masturbated to this. A woman, silencing men? Yeah, that’s going in the spank bank. Yeah. ‘Thank you for explaining the legal process’ also sounds so familiar. If you’ve ever been on a date with a man, it’s all they want to hear. ‘Thank you for explaining Steely Dan’ or ‘Thank you for explaining crypto.’”
7. Stephen Colbert, The Late Show, CBS, May 20 on The Alito Family Flags
“Okay, that is not nice. But if someone calls you the C-word, putting up an insurrection flag is not the response. ‘Oh, you were rude to my wife? Well, we’re Nazis now.’ So, are you happy? So Martha-Ann runs up the January 6 flag, and then Sam comes home from work, sees it, and is like, ‘Honey, I understand you’re upset, but we have to take that down immediately. For Pete’s sake, I’m a justice of the Supreme Court,’ is what would have been nice to have happened.”
6. Jimmy Kimmel and Molly McNearney, Jimmy Kimmel Live!, ABC, September 24 on Donald Trump
JIMMY KIMMEL: But since you think my wife gives good advice, maybe—here she is with some advice. Molly? Please.
MOLLY: MCNEARNEY: … I’m glad I have your attention because one in three women currently in this country is living under an abortion ban because you stacked our Supreme Court…. Women are dying, and good doctors are quitting, because they can’t get or give the reproductive care women desperately need. So, my advice for you is to shut up and go away. Go to Mar-a-Lago, spend all day, every day, cheating at golf and masturbating to Newsmax, and let a competent woman take over. That’s my advice. That’s my advice. Thanks for listening.
5. Anthony Anderson, ABC, Jimmy Kimmel Live!, July 16 on Sen. Tim Scott’s RNC Speech
‘“Attention, large crowd of white people! America is not a racist country!’ Thanks, Uncle Tim or Tom. Whichever you go by.”
MARY KATHARINE HAM: I do not think it’s as asymmetrical as you say, and I also –
BILL MAHER: Well, on the presidential level it is. Okay, Bob Casey, no one gives a fuck or even knows who he is.
3. Desi Lydic, Comedy Central, The Daily Show, November 5 on Election Night
“Well, so far we have the F and the C and the K and the ‘All y’all’ so I’m going to go out on a limb and project a U and fuck all [bleeps].”
2. Stephen Colbert, CBS, The Late Show, November 6 on the Election Results
“All day yesterday, I was walking around proudly wearing my ‘I voted’ sticker. Today, I wore my “I am questioning my fundamental belief in the goodness of humanity” sticker.”
1. Desi Lydic, Comedy Central, The Daily Show, November 6 on the Election Results
“America elected its first criminal president before electing its first female president. What a day for proud felonists. What the actual [bleep], America? We’ve had two qualified, accomplished women nominated for president, and both times they lost to the worst man in the whole country…We have spent so much time diagnosing Donald Trump and what his actions say about him, ‘He’s a dictator. He’s a fascist. He’s a malignant narcissist whose blood type is fryer oil.’ But it’s pretty clear that America is the one that needs the diagnosis, because whatever’s wrong with him, we [bleep] love it. In this moment, Donald Trump is holding up a mirror to the American people and it might be time to take a good [bleep] hard look.”
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