The NFL Celebrates Christmas, Santa Flees Police On A Motorcycle & How

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Merry Christmas, Nightcaps fam!

I hope you’re full of delicious food, quality booze and enough holiday cheer to melt Ebeneezer Scrooge into a puddle of tinsel and Eggnog.

It’s a weird Christmas for me. Since our dog can no longer travel, my husband and I stayed home in Tennessee with her. And because our families are in another state, it’s a quiet, Netflix and chill day for us.

(Not like that, you pervs, the NFL games are on Netflix today.)

We had a very merry breakfast while we checked in on the hostage situation in Nakatomi Plaza. We completed a holly jolly garage gym workout to Christmas classics like “Oh Come All Ye Faithful” by Twisted Sister. And later, we’re grilling steaks and baking mac & cheese.

Whether you’re surrounded by family and friends or you’re keeping your Christmas small like we are, I hope your day is merry and bright.

And remember, we get a whole ‘nother week before we have to get our sh*t together for the New Year. So grab another cocktail and take a quick break from the holiday festivities. Let’s do some Nightcaps!

The Mahomes Kids Are Not Feeling Very Jolly

Since Patrick was a little busy playing football today, Brittany MAGA Mahomes posted their adorable family photos on Instagram yesterday. For some reason, Britt won’t make her IG posts embeddable, so I had to use this tweet from one of those insufferable aggregator accounts.

Now, I’ve seen plenty of Christmas photos of kids crying because they are scared of Santa. But I’ve never seen children just blatantly indignant about it.

Meet the Mahomes children.

OK, this is actually hilarious, and they’ll all laugh about this photo one day. But the best part is, Britt posted THREE different versions on her Instagram, and the kids looked pissed off and disgusted in every one.

Listen here, kiddos, if I hit the genetic/family lottery the way that you did, I’d be cheesin’ from ear to ear — on Christmas Day and every day. Some of us have to work for a living.

Here’s a kid who’s a lot more grateful:

Broncos QBs & WAGs Rock Matching Pajamas

I feel like it’s very easy to make fun of couples who wear matching Christmas pajamas. But as someone who buys matching Christmas jammies for myself and my dog, I have to sit this one out.

That said, I’ve never forced matching PJs on my husband. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I just think men wearing corny pajamas make more sense when you have kids — not when you’re just two adults watching Die Hard and drinking bourbon.

With all that said, how do we feel about three NFL quarterbacks and their respective wives and girlfriends ALL wearing matching jam-jams?

I honestly can’t decide if it’s cute BFF goals or just strange and cringe-y.

Russell Wilson Is Officially The Best Gift Giver

I take back what I said about Joe Burrow yesterday. Sure, authentic Japanese katana swords are cool, but if I were a 6-foot-4, 350-pound man, I would want to block for Russell Wilson.

Wilson bought all 14 of the Steelers’ O-linemen:

A $10,000 Airbnb gift card
A Louis Vuitton duffle bag
Custom-made Steelers Good Man Brand shoes
A bottle of his wife Ciara’s TenToOne Rum

OK, I don’t actually care too much about the shoes. But as someone who loves traveling more than anything (except my husband and Cabernet), $10,000 in Airbnb credits is my dream gift. I’d throw that bottle of rum right into that duffle bag that costs five times my house payment… and you can find me sipping Mai Tais on the other side of the world somewhere.

And now for a much less practical gift from Packers running back Josh Jacobs:

Actually, scratch that. I could probably sell one of those and buy myself a pretty hefty Airbnb gift card.

It’s Jared Goff!

Back in ancient times (2012) when I interned in the Arizona Diamondbacks’ PR department, we had a life-sized cardboard cutout of then-D-backs manager Kirk Gibson. The communications department would regularly prank each other by hiding it in random places. One time, “Flat Gibby” was left in the copy room overnight to scare me.

It worked. When I flipped on the light the next morning to copy stat packets, there was a (cardboard) man standing two feet in front of me. I screamed so loudly that I’m pretty sure even Randy Johnson’s dead bird heard me.

Anyway, I hope these people are slightly less diabolical with Cardboard Jared Goff:

Still a better gift than this:

A Few Heartwarming Moments

In case you’re the Grinch and your heart could stand to grow a few sizes today…

This is an old video, but it’s recently resurfaced on social media, so I think it’s worth sharing. These boys in Detroit had recently lost their father. Then-Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford showed up to surprise them with Christmas presents, and he played Madden with them, too.

Kittle Claus never disappoints. Plus, there’s a puppy.

And, yes, it bothers me very much that the 49ers’ social media team spelled “Claus” incorrectly twice. Unless they’re going for the Tim Allen version, and I don’t think they are.

Here’s a non-football one. Cincinnati Reds pitcher Brady Singer paid off all his parents’ debt for Christmas with the money from his first MLB contract.

Santa Claus Leads Police On Motorcycle Chase

Imagine how good Christmas Day must feel for Santa Claus. It has to feel like that first day of a week-long vacation from work. You shut your laptop, turn off email notifications, and you don’t have to think about anything or do anything except whatever the hell you want for the next seven days.

Except multiply that feeling by 52. Because for Santa, all the work for the whole year is done by Christmas Day. Now, he can forget about those pesky kids and toys. Go to Tahiti? Sure! Stay in bed for three days straight naked eating Cheetos and watching Hulu? OK!

Lead the police on a high-speed motorcycle chase? That too!

This reminds me of the time they had a Santa-Con in Downtown Nashville. It was the same debauchery you’d normally see in Downtown Nashville — people puking in the streets, passed out drunk on sidewalks, fighting and getting thrown out of bars — except everyone doing these things was wearing a Santa suit.

It was glorious.

How The Grinch Stole My Drugs

When I first saw this video posted by “Libs of TikTok” on X, I thought, “Surely, this cannot be true. Surely, a Peruvian police officer did not dress up in a full Grinch costume to do a drug bust.”

But, friends, that is exactly what happened. Enjoy.

All right, let’s get you back to your family, shall we? Just a few more funny posts for the road.