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We lucked out this Christmas and didn’t hear any concerns that “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” is about date rape. Remember back in 2019 when John Legend rewrote the lyrics to be “woke”? (The man immediately suggests he call his date an Uber.)

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Well, Christmas Carols are a lot more problematic than you think. The Church of England is concerned that certain Christmas carols imply that Jesus is the “true Messiah.”

Will Jones of The Daily Sceptic points us to a piece by Celia Walden in The Telegraph:

You see, priests have been told to edit popular carols this Christmas in order to avoid (I really need to create a custom keyboard shortcut for this phrase) “causing unnecessary offence”. Quite why you would be in a church to begin with if you found Christianity so offensive has not been made clear.

Yet according to a whistleblower vicar, Church of England clergy across the country have been contacted and urged to alter various Advent hymns “to avoid upset”. Those singled out as particularly concerning are ‘O Come, O Come, Emmanuel’ (for depicting other faiths as being “outside of God’s grace”) and ‘Lo, He Comes With Clouds Descending’ (the clergy have been sent a link to research suggesting the second verse contains “problematic words” by stating Jesus is the “true Messiah”).

In a further email sent to the Birmingham diocese, clergy were advised to: “Try to use language that won’t add further confusion or tension or take away anything from the good news of the Nativity.” And they wonder why the pews are empty?

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You don’t want to risk offending people of other religions during your church service.

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Merry Christmas!

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