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Every year it seems that the Christmas holidays start earlier and earlier. This past year, literally the day after Halloween, stores seemed to skip over Thanksgiving and go straight to the Christmas season.

And with that, of course, comes not only Christmas trees and decorations, but also one of my favorite parts of the holiday season – Christmas music. 

But for all the Christmas classic tunes out there from Bing Crosby, Nat King Cole, Sinatra and the rest, there are a couple that by when I hear them, I feel anything but joy.

So, before the Yule log runs out, here’s my Top 5 Worst Christmas Songs:

 

5. Gayla Peevey – I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas 

I honestly forgot this song even existed until I heard it a few nights ago and, truth be told, it was one of my inspirations to write this article. 

This song STINKS.

Even taking into account that the original singer Gayla Peevey sang it back in 1953 when she was just 10-years-old, the song and melody is awful. And hey, I have nothing against hippos – in fact, I’d love to have one as well, along with dolphins and penguins.

And I hate to break it to you, but I heard that Santa was ready to deliver a Hippopotamus until he heard this song and said “absolutely not.”

4. NewSong – “Christmas Shoes”

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, out of nowhere some idiot decided to write a song called “Christmas Shoes.”

Not only is the song’s concept terrible, the lyrics, the ungodly length of it at over four minutes, and the desperate attention-seeking story of the song makes it a pitiful attempt at a Christmas song when you compare it to the past greats.

As Rolling Stone wrote, “Sometimes, it’s the little things that remind you what the holidays are all about. Like hearing this song in the car and wondering whether you should dive out the window or just set the whole car on fire.”

 

3. Wham! – Last Christmas

This take is always divisive whenever I say it, but I stand by it wholeheartedly.

I truly can’t stand Wham’s version of “Last Christmas.”

I hate the 80s synth of it.

I hate the phony positive vibes of the song.

I hate anyone that dances to this song at holiday parties – you need help.

Every year I pray and ask Santa that it will be the last time I hear Last Christmas, but nope. Time and time again, it comes back, just to ruin everything.

And let’s be honest, you just KNOW that Wham hates this song as well. And rightfully so – it’s TERRIBLE. 

This song is so bad that there’s something called “Whamageddon,” which literally some people play throughout December as they try to avoid Wham’s “Last Christmas.”

Very few songs have such a negative effect. But if one would, it’s definitely Last Christmas.

 

2. Eartha Kitt – Santa Baby

At Number 2 we have “Santa Baby.” 

It doesn’t matter who sings it, because the bottom line is – this song is CREEPY.

The burlesque vibes of it, the weird, stern tone, where one doesn’t know if the person singing it is serious or not, means one thing – don’t stick around to find out.

This song is absolutely cringe as well as the ultimate song, that after listening to it, you feel like you need to take a shower.

 

1. Paul McCartney – Wonderful Christmastime

It’s a good thing that John Lennon isn’t around to hear Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime,” because he would be VERY disappointed in him.

There is nothing Wonderful about this song.

Anyone with working ears understands that this song is absolutely awful, annoying AND atrocious.

It’s as if Paul McCartney got a couple of synthesizers for Christmas one year and decided to experiment with them and put together the biggest load of BS he could, while putting the words “Christmastime” in it, so the backlash wouldn’t be as severe. 

After all, who could hate Christmas?

Apparently, LOTS of people, because a quick Twitter X search for “Wonderful Christmastime” shows that McCartney should have stuck with “Yesterday.”

OUTKICK READERS – IT’S YOUR TURN! WHAT ARE YOUR WORST CHRISTMAS SONGS? TWEET ME: @TheGunzShow !