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December 25, Santa Claus travels the world. Spreading holiday cheer and delivering presents to all the good boys and girls. With the occasional exception. The rest of the year, Santa’s got his ear to the streets. He’s cutting deals with sources and working over snitches. Finally getting that one big drug bust he’s been working so hard for. That day finally came for one Peruvian Santa. I never knew I wanted to see St. Nick crack open a door with a sledgehammer before.
From 2020, but always fun to watch.
This video needs a Beastie Boys remix…
For the sake of “accuracy” and playing nice with Facebook’s “fact” “checkers,” this Santa was a cop. This now makes the second “undercover Santa” story we’ve read about this week. Which opens up any number of questions. Is working the undercover Christmas beat a regular thing cops do? Is it considered a promotion or a demotion? And did the cop stuck being an elf lose a bet? Inquiring minds and all that.
What confuses me in this video is, last time it took place outside the mall the first cop Santa worked at. This looks like it takes place in a skid row somewhere. I can’t imagine “Santa” would be stationed nearby a drug den. This leads me to believe one of two things. Either this Santa was just getting off work from his second job at the Galleria and didn’t have time to change. Or, when the call came in, he and his partner decided to mess with the drug dealers. I choose to believe Option B.
THUG #1: Who’s at the door?
THUG #2: I think it’s Santa Claus. He’s got a hammer.
THUG #1: I’m so hiiiiiiiiiiiigh.
More importantly, I NEED to see this turned into a movie. It would be like Die Hard meets The Santa Clause meets the Beastie Boys video for “Sabotage.” Get to work, Hollywood!
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Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn’t writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.
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