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Chick-fil-A is bland, overrated chicken. Being honest with ourselves is important. It’s generic fast food in desperate need of a few more herbs and/or spices. That doesn’t mean the legend of Chick-fil-A employees isn’t something to both praise and marvel at. They go above and beyond in serving their community. This is in contrast to lazy McDonald’s employees who expect $25 an hour to throw frozen meat in the microwave and never fix the shake machine.

The legend grows in Florida as one employee took a break from slinging barely seasoned nuggets to save a woman and her baby by choking the f*ck out of their would-be carjacker. The incident is from 2022, but is going viral again thanks to the popular “Dude’s Posting Their W’s” X account.

The punk’s name is William Branch. Branch tried to jack the car using a stick.

This does not look like the face of the man who grasps the irony.

The woman screamed as Branch worked his way into her car. Upon hearing the cries of a damsel in distress, the mystery Chick-fil-A employee lept into action. He pulled Branch from the car, wrestled him to the ground, and then put Branch in a chokehold until help arrived. It was a solid chokehold, too. If the anonymous Florida resident isn’t training at American Top Team yet, he should.

Branch is being charged with carjacking with a weapon (the stick Branch used) and battery. Our mystery Chick-fil-A employee remains just that, walking off into the horizon until he is called on again to save the day.

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Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn’t writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.

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