We support our Publishers and Content Creators. You can view this story on their website by CLICKING HERE.

HEAVEN — Angelic sources have confirmed that after running low on ideas of more things to create, God made Oklahoma.

According to Abdiel, an angelic spokesperson, the Holy Immortal God was starting to feel a creative lull after fashioning wonders like the Alps, the Grand Canyon, and Sicily, so while He awaited more inspiration, the Lord quickly whipped up Oklahoma.

“It was nothing for him — I mean, all He needs to do anyway is speak to create, but Oklahoma was literally nothing,” Abdiel said. “In His Infinite Wisdom, the Lord was starting to get just a little tired of coming up with new mountain ranges, landscapes, and breathtaking vistas, so He took it easy for a few moments and spoke into being a barren, flat, blank space. It really speaks to how much He was looking forward to that Sabbath rest.”

Abdiel then motioned to Oklahoma to demonstrate, which unfortunately caused a dust storm that somehow blanketed the flat plains in even more dirt.

At publishing time, Abdiel had confirmed that God had made Nebraska during a similar creative interlude.

Here’s what RFK Jr. will do to get everyone back in shape!


Make America Healthy Again!