Prediction: Luigi Mangione Will Become ‘Che Guevera’ for the Selfie

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“I hope in the future Americans are thought of as a warlike, vicious people because I bet a lot of high schools would pick ‘Americans’ as their mascot.” —Jack Handey, “Deep Thoughts”

We waste vast amounts of time and energy arguing over symbols, emblems, mascots, and various forms of artistic representation. On both the left and the right, our most passionate members get sucked into the silliest of debates: From renaming buildings to policing pronouns to the sex lives of Mattel products, these are the sorts of grandstanding controversies that make all participants look like kooks. Sure, it excites members of your base who are on the carnivore diet (subsisting solely on “red meat”), but nothing substantial is ever accomplished.

Attacking symbols is easy. Solving problems is hard.

This is why it’s such a popular pastime for hacks on the left and the right: It’s all spectacle and no substance. Pure fireworks; zero warmth.

It’s debate for the sake of debate.

Because symbols are malleable. They can mean whatever you want whenever you want — and you’re always free to change your mind.

And we do change our mind: Symbols change over time. Words, phrases, and archetypes aren’t static. They’re in a constant state of flux, evolving and growing with the society that uses them, mirroring our aspirations and reflecting our phobias.

This is why symbols always say more about the speaker than the object itself (or himself).

Humans coopt symbols all the time, using them for their own purposes. It’s why so many religious holidays, customs, and observances have pagan roots: When you redirect what the old symbol represents, you can also repurpose some of its adjectives for a new symbol.

That’s useful in social engineering.

The Nazis didn’t invent the swastika. It’s an ancient symbol that predated Hitler by 10,000 years. But after the atrocities of the Third Reich, the swastika became synonymous with Nazism, antisemitism, and Aryan nationalism. Its symbolic value as religious iconography was contorted into something vulgar and loathsome.

Symbols must be protected — lest someone repulsive coopt them.

Over the past 30 years, the so-called “Confederate flag” (stars and bars) went from a symbol so uncontroversial that it adorned Bo and Luke’s car on a Friday night TV show, to a vile, evil, racist symbol of white supremacy. When I was a little boy, the “good guy” pro wrestlers would walk to the ring waving a Confederate Flag to show they were hard-working country boys — and whites and blacks wildly cheered them! The British metal band Iron Maiden wore Confederate shirts when they toured the South in the 1980s. Nowadays, of course, any TV exec who green-lit a kid’s show with Confederate imagery would be fired.

So what happened?

Culture changes over time. Society never stands still. Sure, most of the blame belongs to the racists and dumba**es who’ve appropriated Southern symbolism (along with the liberals who overemphasize this association), but some of the blame belongs to the Southerners who whistled Dixie while their symbols were stolen.

Any symbol worth using is worth protecting.

The “rules” for symbolic representation are vague and mysterious: It’s the Law of the Jungle. For racial representations, there’s probably been the biggest cultural shift. A few decades ago, racial distinctions were proudly promoted, especially in sports, because they helped drive fans to arenas. “The Brown Bomber” Joe Louis, “The Little Hebrew” Abe Attell, “The Italian Superman” Bruno Sammartino, and Kid Chocolate were all huge draws — and there’s a reason why everyone in America with at least one Irish grandparent is (annoyingly) cheering for Notre Dame.

Promoters made money by highlighting tribal distinctions.

In the past, nonexistent racial differences were also promoted: Max Baer is credited as the first Jewish heavyweight champion (and actually fought with the Star of David on his trunks), but it was mostly a marketing gimmick: Those who got an eyeful of his intact “mini Max” in the shower questioned the legitimacy of his Hebrew identity. Even in the “sport” of pro wrestling, most of the feather-wearing Native Americans, evil Russians, and assorted foreigners weren’t what they claimed to be either. (Terry Bollea is ethnically Italian, but was renamed “Hulk Hogan” because a promoter thought he sort of looked Irish.)

Nowadays, only two entities are allowed to use Native American names and symbols: Jeep automobiles and military weapons. I don’t know why the Jeep Cherokee, Tomahawk missiles, and Apache helicopters are fine, but sports teams are racist and taboo, but dem’s the rules. (Apparently.)

But every now and then, a cultural moment comes along that’s just begging for appropriation. The image was so memorable and so powerful that political activists couldn’t resist swiping right.

Che Guevara was a racist, homophobic, mass-murdering dirtbag. He thought black people were inferior. His image and iconography were all over the BLM protests, but what Guevara actually said about black people was appalling: “The black is indolent and a dreamer; spending his meager wage on frivolity or drink.” “The blacks, those magnificent examples of the African race who have maintained their racial purity thanks to their lack of an affinity with bathing.”

He also sent gay people to Auschwitz-inspired concentration camps.

Yet Mercedes used Che Guevara to market cars. (What? A lack of cultural sensitivity from Germany? I’m shocked!)

Why?

Che Guevara might’ve been a bigot and a creep, but yowee, looky those cheekbones! He’s dreamy! Sigh…

Even though Che + BLM makes as much sense as “Gays for Palestine.”

Luigi Mangione, the suspected murderer of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson, is a good-looking kid. And culturally, he’s here at exactly the right time: We’re knee-deep in Generation Selfie — a nation of social media addicts — and just a day or two after his crime, OpenAI released a video generator called Sora.

That’s a helluva one-two punch.

First, Mangione will be the patron saint of the socialized healthcare movement. At the next major rally, you can be sure his name, face, brand, and likeness will be prominently represented.

But it won’t end there.

Over the next few years, Luigi Mangione will become the new Che Guevara for the greater liberal and/or Antifa movement. His face and likeness will be appropriated by all kinds of radical causes. Just like Che, his image will be reprinted on t-shirts, flags, banners, and more — his posters draped over the walls of countless college dorms.

And just like Che, he’ll be repurposed by people and causes that he (probably) despises.

In “Batman Begins,” Bruce Wayne explained to Alfred Pennyworth the enduring power of symbolism: “As a man, I’m flesh and blood, I can be ignored, I can be destroyed. But as a symbol… as a symbol, I can be incorruptible, I can be everlasting.”

Bruce Wayne was right. But he was also wrong.

Because once you become a symbol, you’re no longer an individual. For good or bad, you’re now society’s mirror.

And mirrors don’t create. They only reflect.