Bankruptcy judge blocks The Onion’s acquisition of InfoWars

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The drama surrounding Alex Jones’s bankruptcy is just about as kooky as some of the theories he’s proffered over the years. Most recently, it sounded like the used-to-be-funny satire site The Onion had bought his InfoWars company in a sealed bid.

Jones declared bankruptcy after being successfully sued for $1.4 billion by the parents of the children killed in the Sandy Hook shooting, though that number has been reduced to just $965 million after a Connecticut appeals court shot down his appeal and granted him some reprieve.

The money from what was nearly the sale of InfoWars to The Onion was supposed to go to the Sandy Hook families to pay the debt, but Judge Christopher Lopez halted the sale because he did not think the sealed bidding system maximized the amount InfoWars could fetch to pay the company’s creditors.

‘It seemed doomed almost from the moment they decided to go to a sealed bid,’ Judge Lopez said when handing down his decision. ‘Nobody knows what anybody else is bidding.’

The point of the sealed bid seemed to be keeping someone affiliated with Jones from buying the company and having it operating as is.

First United American Companies, which is affiliated with Jones’ online store selling nutritional supplements, lost out at the auction despite offering a bid of $3.5 million.

So, what did The Onion bid?

$1.75 million

That seems like a lot less than what Jones’ store bid, so how did they win?

I’m going to quote this because it seems too much like an Alex Jones radio broadcast to be believable:

The Onion bid $7 million to acquire InfoWars, which included $1.75 million from its parent company Global Tetrahedron, while the remainder would come from money Sandy Hook families won from their lawsuit against Jones. The Times reports. Despite this roadblock, Global Tetrahedron still intends to pursue an acquisition of InfoWars, with the goal of replacing the site with ‘a relentless barrage of humor for good.’

That’s right – the Sandy Hook families bid, along with The Onion, with the sole intention of ruining the company.

If I put myself in their place, and someone made fun of my kids’ brutal murders, calling it all a hoax, I would absolutely want to buy their company and turn it into a satire of itself.

Vengeance makes people do all sorts of irrational things, which is why God says it’s better if we leave it to Him.

Luckily for the families and their self-destructive inclination, that’s not how bankruptcy court works.

Los Angeles entertainment attorney Tre Lovell told Newsweek previously: ‘Jones has a right for his assets not to be sold unreasonably as a fire sale or for an illegitimate purpose, but that the process allows the opportunity for bona fide and fair bidding.

‘If The Onion’s [and the Sandy Hook families’] intent is to make a joke of all this and purposefully seek to ruin the asset at the expense of Jones receiving a more fair and reasonable bid, this would be grounds to disallow the sale.’

Just for reference, according to Worth of the Web, just the website InfoWars.com has a market value of $31,665,000, which does not include all the company’s assets like the video game we reported on last Christmas: