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We’ve got conference championship games across college football this weekend, and what better way to kick one of those games off than with an appearance by one of the greatest competitors of the 21st-century, competitive eater Joe “Jaws” Chestnut.

The competitive-eating GOAT was on hand in Indianapolis ahead of the Big Ten Championship Game between Oregon and Penn State, but before those two heavyweight teams had a chance to go out and impress us, Chestnut may have done the most impressive thing of the day during a shrimp cocktail competition.

Chestnut put away an astounding 21 pounds of shrimp in a world-record performance that left the crowd in awe (and probably dry-heaving a little). 

I’ve seen some incredible things in my life — like one time I saw the Wienermobile parked behind a hotel close to where I live — but I can not wrap my head around how one man can cram 21 pounds of shrimp in his stomach.

And that didn’t look like just shrimp. That looked to be shrimp cocktail. Imagine getting some horseradish-y cocktail sauce in your sinuses.

No thanks.

I’m glad other people still show up to these events to compete, because I feel like as soon as Joey Chestnut shows up, the rest of the field is like, “Welp, I guess we’re battling it out for second today, guys.”

The dude is a legend — a legend that I had the pleasure of interviewing last year — and I’m not saying this as a goof: he is one of the most dominant athletes of all time.

The man won 16 Mustard Yellow belts in Nathan’s Hotdog-Eating Competition and his win streak only really ended because he cut a deal with a competitor and they wouldn’t let him take the stage.

C’mon, Nathan’s: hate the game, not the player. 

That’s what I say.